blakersfield

Blake Shelton's hometown. Once he moved away to Nashville to start his successful and iconic Country music career. He became severely depressed and homesick. Thanks to Blakersfield, all those country people have Blake Shelton, so be thankful. Blakersfield was first founded on February 16, 2017 when Shelton performed at the Rabobank Arena. This is the momentous day in Blakersfield history, it has become an annual celebration to worship Blakersfield's ONE and ONLY God, Blake Shelton. His most famous quotes, "Blakersfield has my heart and my soul", and "God Bless Blakersfield, California" are a true representation of his love and adoration for his homeland. These famous quotes have impacted the lives of the citizens of Blakersfield, and is the only thing that allows them to keep going.

"Howdy partner! Wanna go to Vegas this weekend?"
"Nah man, let's go to Blakersfield instead."

by Blake Shelton is my daddy May 21, 2018

Bakersfield Picnic

The act of eating your lunch while taking a crap.

Guy 1: "you coming to lunch with us at Chilies?"
Guy 2: "no, I gotta take a dump. I'm just gonna have a Bakersfield Picnic."

by P. Gunn October 2, 2013

Bakersfield Special

During anal sex when the receiving person is not clean and shits on the penetrating person’s penis.

When the penetrating person’s penis is caked or covered in shit after fucking a dirty hole.

Manuel: “How did your Grindr hookup go?”
Louis: “It started well but after 10 minutes or so, he gave me a Bakersfield Special. We needed to stop because there was shit everywhere.”
Manuel: “gross”

Louis “Did you douche before your hookup?”
Manuel: “Of course I did. I don’t want to give anyone a Bakersfield Special.”

by TheBlackPearl March 27, 2022

bakersfield chalupa

similar to a cleveland steamer, except the person pooping has to have a lot of corn in their stool.

nick "the dirty dick" gave jen a bakersfield chalupa on her face. as she gasped for air, all jen could say was, "mmm...i love hot corn".

by t-bags mcgillan November 26, 2006

Bakersfield chimp

verb. Popularized by The Phil Hendrie Show. The act of ripping someone a new one (or removing an old one) as in the incident where two chimps got loose from their cage at a Bakersfield CA chimp sanctuary and severely attacked a man in front of his wife while visiting an their old pet chimp on his birthday.

If this line doesn't get moving faster, I'm going to go Bakersfield chimp on that grocery clerk.

by smackie August 30, 2005

Bakersfield Gangs (Updated)

Current active gangs in Bakersfield, California.

Crips:

· East Side Crips (ESC)

· Spoonie G Crips

· Stroller Boy Crips

· Mid City Crips

· Lakeview Gangsta Crips

· Project Crips

· Clifton Mob Crips

· West Side Crips

· West Side Family Crips

· West Side Gangsta Crips

· 6th Street Crips

· Country Boy Crips (SSC/CBC)

· Watts & Lotus Blocc Crips

· Melwood Blocc Crips

· Bradshaw Hustler Gang

· Mad Blocc Crips

· Reece & Cheetam Blocc (RC Blocc)

· Cottonwood Crips

Bloods/Pirus:

· East Side Bloods

· Nine Trae Bloods (DBG93) (Inactive)

· Bounty Hunta Bloods (Inactive)

· West Side Bloods

· West Side Warlords Piru (Inactive)

Surenos:

· East Side Sureno Sets

· East Side Bakers 13

· Loma Bakers 13

· Lomita 13

· Los Pobres 13 (Inactive)

· Colonia Bakers 13

· Varrio Bakers 13

· Bakers Sur Trece Gang 13

· West Side Sureno Sets

· West Side Bakers 13

· South Side Sureno Sers

· South Side Bakers 13

· Lil Locos (SSBKS) 13

· Southgate Locos (SSBKS) 13

· Greenfield Bakers 13

· North Side/Uptown Sureno Sets

· Uptown Bakers 13

White Supremacists:

· Oildale Peckerwoods

· Nazi Lowriders

Independent Gangs (No allignment to prison gangs):

· Trilla Gang

· TK-1

· MCK

Prison Gangs:

· Mexican Mafia (La Eme)

· Black Gorilla Family

· Aryan Brotherhood

· Dead Man Inc.

Yo man this dude just posted Bakersfield Gangs (Updated)

by 661goonx October 16, 2019

Bakersfield

The closest thing to Texas you are going to get in California. Rent here is one the cheapest in California. Land is very affordable here.

It is an hour and half away from Los Angeles and the Central Coast, and is thirty minutes to an hour away from the mountains.

It's boring as fuck unless you like riding dirtbikes, farms, oilfields, 4-wheeling, going to concerts, shows, the Kern county fair, swimming, drinking, or doing drugs.

High quality Methamphetamine can be found in any trailer park and is a very popular drug of choice here. It has the same air quality as Los Angeles, can get up to 110 degrees during the summer, and has the highest rate of teen pregnancy and STDs in the country.

Girls are hot here but they get around like hula hoops and will get pregnant and have your kids to receive welfare benefits and child support.

Liberty High, Stockdale High, Centennial High, Garces, and Bakersfield High are the best high schools here.

Colleges are Bakersfield College and Cal State University of Bakersfield where Tito Ortiz went to.

Best neighborhoods to live in Bakersfield is in the Northwest and Northeast.

Neighborhoods you want to stay far away from is Oildale and neighborhoods near and/or on Cottonwood road and Martin Luther King Blvd.

Gangs here consist of various sets of Crips that roll deep as fuck claim East Side, country boy Crips on the South Side, and West Side Crips. Bloods are few in number. Peckerwoods are in Oildale.

1.

Dude 1) Man Bakersfield is so boring, Im willing to try smoking meth.

Dude 2). Man I have a piezo at my house. We can get a twenty next door to your house.

Dude 1) I never knew they slanged meth and I never knew you smoked meth.

Dude 2) Dude what do you expect? You live in a trailer park in Oildale.

2.

Dude 1) Man Bakersfield hit 107 degrees today, thank god everybody wants to chill at my chillbox ( pad with bomb ass AC) and smoke meth cuz I have the coldest AC on the block.

Dude 2). Lets cluck your AC for more meth.

Dude 1). Fuck off that AC is my saddle, lets go steal someone's dirtbike instead.

Dude 2) Naw lets go rob a house instead.

Dude 1) I think I need to lay off this dope.

3.

Dude 1). At least Bakersfield has a chill downtown. I can pre-game at the Alley Cat and walk to Rabobank Arena to go see Kottonmouth Kings perform.

Dude 2). Yeah next week they are going to have a monster truck show. Im going there spun as fuck and grab me a tweaker hoe.

Dude 1) You and your fucking meth habit smh.

by NoneOfYourDamnBusiness July 13, 2012