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An automatic ass cleaner using water at a water temperature and power of your choice. Can be installed as a completely different comode or in the same toilet seat itself. The evolution from using standard toilet paper and digging into your arse hole to remove that brown excrement.
"If you're still using toilet paper you're living in the 19th century and beyond. Wake up you bastards and get a bidet. NO HANDS needed to dig into your ass. When your done hosing your ass down, just PAT dry with a single square of TP."
by Anonymous March 12, 2005
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2
Perhaps the greatest invention ever, this nifty device allows you to wash your ass after usage of the toilet. It's a common fixture in European countries(and I wish in the US) . Basicially, it works by you sitting on the top after doing your business, followed by turning on the water flow and washing, and afterwards, pat your clean behind dry with some TP. No muss, no fuss.
My hotel in Spain had a bidet and a toilet in the bathroom
by Joshie G. April 25, 2010
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3
instrument resembeling a miniture bath or large urinal, used to cleanse excrement from ones filthy posterior
this is a job for a bidet
by mel and rai January 13, 2003
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5
A very clever and hygienic idea. Originally made for women in their period that were to lazy to take a shower.
But you guys don't know that it is also a masturbation device. I strongly recomend this to anorgasmic girls.
It works this way:

1.sit down without underwear,
2.regulate the warm shower,
3.slightly move to find the correct position, I mean, on your clitoris or close to it... and hum! wow... that's pretty fast!
-- Vicky, get out of there I really gotta piss!
-- *in the bathroom* Leave me alone! I'm cleaning my cunt! Ooooh yeahhh!I love the bidet!
by monainmortal January 18, 2007
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6
Little bum washing toilet you can't shit in
'Hang on Brenda, I've just had a right clingy shite, need to use the bidet'
by morvy January 21, 2010
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7
When one is being excessively feminine and or a big gaping asshole they are said to be "on the bidet"
"Haha I had sex with your mom last night"
"Dude get off the bidet"
by Philly-BA April 24, 2007
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