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Because you touch yourself at night 

The truly ultimate responce to any kind of stupid or annoying "why" question, or simply to a question you cannot answer.
That answer will totally piss off annoying kids who ask too many questions.
See also: because you're gay.
Kid: Why did the dinosaurs die out?
Tour guide: Because you touch yourself at night.

Son: Why do you drink so much, dad?
Dad: Because you touch yourself at night!

Little brother: Why don't you ever let me into your room?
Big brother: Because you touch yourself at night, you little brat!

because you touch yourself at night 

a funny phrase to say after any question
Friend: Why do i suck?
Me: Because you touch yourself at night

Because you touch yourself at night! 

One of the most popular theories as to how the dinosaurs become extinct.
Why did the dinosaurs die out?

Because you touch youself at night!