battlehawks 

The only football franchise located in St. Louis. They play in the XFL and are the only team in the league who’s logo was not created on a video game by an 8 year old. The team is named after the most feared bird In the sky. The legendary Battle Hawk has dominated every challenger, and is well represented with dominating play on the field. The intensity of Battlehawks play is only matched by their rowdy post game celebrations.

The current hard seltzer shortage was caused by the Battlehawks celebration after their win over the Renegades.

battlehawks by Kb25 February 10, 2020

Excaliburd Battlehawk 

Born to the Arch Duke of Soulard and twice knighted by the Duchess of St. Louis City and County, Excaliburd Battlehawk is the most supreme sportsman in all the lands. He honors the ancient code of the Battlehawk Warriors tasked with forever guarding that which they hold most dear, The Dome.

Excaliburd Battlehawk once Ka Kawed and Chuck Norris flew over.

Excaliburd Battlehawk by BIG BIRD Battlehawk March 2, 2020

Battlejacks 

Any sporting event where there is a tie must result in a tie breaker called battlejacks. Two opponents sit indian style across from each other and will jack each other off. Loser is who ejaculates first.

Chris and Mark tied in golf resulting in the first battlejacks match in history. The match between Mark and Chris was back and forth. Ultimately Mark retained the belt after Chris exploded. Chris later won the world championship training vigorously and retained his title for many years.

Battlejacks by Agnothin April 24, 2024