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Back With the Milk

When someone who was once thought to be gone forever shows up again, often after several years.

This is a reference to the "dad went to the store to buy milk" trope. The punchline is that he abandons his family.

This is a subversion of that, meaning the dad finally comes back from the store after years of absence.
Person C has entered the chat

Person A: "Wait, you haven't been here since 2014, is it really you?"

Person B: "C is finally back with the milk."
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How long does it take for your dad to come back with the milk? 

How long does it take for your dad to come back with the milk?
Getting back to the store will take another 0.07 years, buying the milk will take about 50 more years with the state your father's mind is in. Finally, it will take another 697.01 years to get home. Totaled up, this is approximately 4160.83 years for your father to come back home with the milk.
How long does it take for your dad to come back with the milk?
Getting back to the store will take another 0.07 years, buying the milk will take about 50 more years with the state your father's mind is in. Finally, it will take another 697.01 years to get home. Totaled up, this is an approximate 4160.83 years for your father to come back home with the milk.

I eat my cereal with water because my dad never came back with the milk 

The meaning of the father not bringing back milk is a very sad story. I have no idea why it's called milk, but when a dad breaks up with his family and leaves his partner, he'll say that he's going to the store to buy milk but then he never comes back. Depression spirals. You have a mental breakdown. The phrase 'I eat my cereal with water because my dad never came back with the milk' Is used as a joke or a way to break the news to someone. I'd rather go get my own milk 😤
Person 1: Make me cry
Person 2: I eat my cereal with water because my dad never came back with the milk
Person 1: 😭😭😭😢😥😰😭😓😩😫🤤😭😭😭😭😭😭

your dad never came back with the milk 

Something that means your dad left you and your family to start a new one.
"OMG! Your dad never came back with the milk?"
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