ass-spirations

ass-spirations — The desire to have marital sexual relations more than twice a week after more than five years of marriage.

At least 50% of the people involved in the marriage will find this to be somewhat unreasonable, while reminding the other 50% of the couple that married people — statistically — have more regular sex than single people.

This is especially in the post-pandemic age of internet dating where many men identify themselves as “Incels” (and Freudian-ly play with guns).

Psychologist call this phenomenon: Too much and not enough. This refers to the propensity of the average married couple to describe the exact same number and types of sexual interactions in completely divergent terms.

Another phenomenon associated with this is the hormonal reversal theme wherein the desire role of the couple reverses only to have the end result be the exact same dynamic — ONLY REVERSED!!!!!!

As the old saying about human nature goes: “When they hand out free $10 dollar bills someone will complain that $50 dollar bills aren’t being freely distributed.”

As for sexual frequency — talk to any single person going through a sexual drought: sex twice a week even if it is a quickie and in only one position is 104 sex acts a year — which actually is a lot; though some would say not enough.

But, we can always still have ass-spirations!!!!!

The longer one is married, the easier it is for a good series binge to thwart marital ass-spirations. Love and Death cost me one of my weekly marital sex acts!!!!!

ass-spirations by Mind Hunter the Profiler May 25, 2023

asspirations 

(n.) Refers to two different posterior-related subjects:
1. Motivated dreams/hopes of being permitted sexual access to someone's behind (i.e., "given ass")
2. Farts (i.e., “anal respirations”).

One should note that such bodily expulsions (especially if they are excessively loud/odiferous) as mentioned in Definition 2 may very likely have a direct and dramatic "dampening effect" on the intensity of the desirous thoughts/feelings described in Definition 1. Nothing turns off someone of either gender more quickly/dramatically than a humongous load of sulphur-flavored methane ejected at close range. This instantaneous negative reaction can either be an enormously vexing problem or an incredibly useful tool, depending on the circumstances and the wishes/intent of the wind-breaker. On the one hand, for example, if someone is trying to cause his/her romantic partner to feel happy and comfortable about bodily-sharing, he will want to make the experience as pleasant/peaceful as possible, and so any carelessly-released bubble of gas would definitely be inadvisable. If, however, one of the "lovers" is having serious doubts about the compatibility/advisability of the romantic union, his "letting one rip" can be a powerful strategy to cause the other person to quickly lose interest and flee, without either individual's actually saying anything to discourage further lovemaking.

Baked-bean-loving dude: I have **great asspirations** every time I see a chick with a cute round bum, but then I always drive her away with my **bodily asspirations** that invariably seem to pop out right when we're in the middle of humpin'.

asspirations by QuacksO January 14, 2015