absentini

An absence attributed to excess martini consumption.

Patty: Sorry to have blown you off at spin class this morning. Meltem was in town last night, and we stayed out waaaaay too late.

Judy: That will be recorded as a fully-excused absentini.

absentini by Judy Gresham August 14, 2010

Shat-in-absentia 

The punitive act of 'leaving-behind' a large, commode-filling mass of fecal material that, through time, evaporation and vacancy creates an extremely unpleasant next-occupant arrival surprise; especially useful for time-share condos, infrequently accessed guest homes and seasonal-use facilities.

I'll never again be the first to enter THAT condo...the last renters shat-in-absentia. When I opened the door it was like being punched in the face by a shit-bag fist. Nas-T....

Shat-in-absentia by YAWA August 21, 2016

Argentinian Popover 

Eating so much barbequed meat and cheese-bread that you write off a hotel room with your farts

Did I ever tell you about the time when I did an Argentinian Popover in Philadelphia?

Argentinian Popover by No Context Off Menu October 28, 2020

abstinince 

if you seriously think this is how you spell abstinence, you probably already have a baby

im a hick and can't spell fairly easy words

abstinince by Wet Bagels McGee April 21, 2005

Testicular Absenteeism 

1. Having no balls; weak and worthless like a jellyfish.
2. Lacking the ability to stand for what is right in the face of criticism.
3. Appeasement.

Mr. Douche parades around the office like a Badass until he's challenged, then he comes down with an acute case of Testicular Absenteeism.

Testicular Absenteeism by RorschachNEOCON May 15, 2012

Argentinian Clusterfuck 

Getting caught after telling people that you're going to be hiking the Appalachian Trail, but really you're in Argentina having an affair.

SC Gov. Mark Sanford found himself in an Argentinian Clusterfuck, after having told his family, aides and political allies that he was hiking the Appalachian Trail, held a press conference to admit that he was actually in Argentina having an affair.

Argentinian Clusterfuck by Sanford2012NOT June 24, 2009

abstininthe 

to abstain from not drinking absinthe.

Hey man, let's practice abstininthe today.

abstininthe by domy September 10, 2007