Aardvarking ahrd-vahr-king ;
Aardvarked ahrd-vahr-kt
verb
To aardvark is to complete the following steps:
1. Put about 1 tablespoon of
water in your mortar & pestle (or small bowl/dish) that is now littered with the final, hard-to-reach, hard-to-scrape remains of
cocaine after a debaucherous night of having sex with your roommate’s
sister and watching an entire season of “Trailer Park
Boys.” Make sure the powdered remains are in the tiny pool of
water
2. Take your plastic straw (which you had already stolen from a gas station and had cut into either 2 or 3 shorter straws, as aardvarkers are too hygienic, civilized and classy to use the filthy dollar bill in your wallet which contains
37 imperceptible traces of
semen)
3. Vigorously snort these final remains of product
4. Revel in the 15 seconds of burning pain and discomfort
5. Now that you are undoubtedly the highest you’ve been all night, as aardvarking packs a powerful punch, you may begin constructing a plaque to hang in your office at
work, which proudly states “I have aardvarked.”
You have just successfully aardvarked.
"Hey boss, I was gonna call in sick but after I started aardvarking, a
thunderbolt of
motivation struck me and I sprinted all the
way here, blasting a Slayer album and I AM FUCKIN' READY TO SELL SOME CASKETS AND URNS!!! LET'S DO THIS SHIT!!!"
