The Wellard is a common garden troll who lives in the south west wales countryside. It lives in a cave with Its Mate Known as the Erin and their Offspring is known as a baby Smichael.
Guy 1: dude i just saw A Wellard
Guy 2: a what?
Guy 1: y'know those troll things that live in wales.
Guy 2: Was it driving a Hyndai Gets Or a Transit Van
Guy 1: nah
Guy: awww
Cigarette: Northern slang for a cigarette, used oft by mashed up mancunian ravers becasue of the resemblance of a hot(electric)stove to the end of a lit cigarette. Originated circa 1991 in the early halcyon days of the rave culture; we speculate during a drug fuelled hallucination by said manc.
'fuck me noel, i am bolloxed, is that a ciggy in your mouth, or the stove from me 'nans kitchen'/
General use: 'Give us a stove you cunt'