Warp Computing

A speculative approach to computation that exploits warped spacetime or non‑classical geometries to perform operations faster or more efficiently than conventional computers. If you could contract space inside a processor, signals would travel shorter distances, reducing latency. If you could create temporary closed timelike curves, you might solve certain problems by sending the answer back before starting. Warp computing also includes algorithms that use topologically folded data structures. While far beyond current engineering, it inspires new ways to think about computational complexity.

Example: “The warp computing research group proposed a processor where critical data paths were routed through a tiny region of folded space—cutting signal travel times to near zero. They admitted it required exotic matter, but the math was beautiful.”

Warp Computing by Dumu The Void April 5, 2026

Warp Quantum Computing

A specific application of warp quantum technology: computers that use warp fields to enhance or enable quantum computation. Potential advantages include: using warp bubbles to isolate qubits from decoherence, employing spacetime curvature to perform quantum gates faster than light, or harnessing exotic matter to create topologically protected qubits that are inherently error‑correcting. Warp quantum computing could theoretically solve problems that are intractable even for conventional quantum computers. However, the energy requirements are astronomical, and the exotic matter needed may not exist. In fiction, warp quantum computers are often the “black box” that makes FTL navigation possible.

Warp Quantum Computing Example: “The ship’s warp quantum computer calculated the jump in a picosecond, factoring in every gravity well in the galaxy—something that would take a classical computer the age of the universe.”

Warp Quantum Computing by Dumu The Void April 5, 2026

Warp Relativistic Computing

A speculative computing paradigm that uses warp fields to circumvent the lightspeed limit on information processing. In conventional relativistic computing, signals cannot travel faster than light, imposing fundamental limits on clock speeds and communication delays. Warp relativistic computing would create local warp bubbles where signals effectively travel faster than light within the bubble, allowing computation to proceed at rates that appear superluminal to outside observers. This could enable processors with effectively infinite clock speeds or solve distributed computing problems that require faster‑than‑light coordination. The catch: any such computation would still be subject to causality paradoxes, and current physics offers no way to build even a primitive warp bubble.

Warp Relativistic Computing Example: “The warp relativistic processor finished the simulation before it started—or so it seemed. The engineers shrugged; causality could sort itself out.”

Warp Relativistic Computing by Dumu The Void April 5, 2026

jerb 

well known from south park
rednecks get angrry that future folk took there jobs so they yell
They took ouare jerbs!

Them future folk took ouare jerbs!

jerb by Jimberley Kim April 7, 2005

Cheeks 

An Irish phrase meaning shit, derived from ass
(Not to be confused with the literal description of one's buttocks)

"Did you hear the song Aylek$ dropped?"
"Hardly. Her music is absolute cheeks."

"My boyfriend say LaFlame is cheeks."
"Tell your boyfriend I said it's his mixtape that's cheeks."

Cheeks by thecartisan April 26, 2020

sans sheriff 

Lawless use of fonts or typography, with no regard to aesthetics or legibility

I'm putting this CV straight in the bin. Written totally sans sheriff.

sans sheriff by Jamarley July 3, 2019

Breadhead 

Someone who is addicted to obtaining money and building wealth. A money addict and fanatic. Breadheads often work more than one full-time job, and some even participate in illicit activities to "obtain the bread".

A breadhead is like a crackhead, but for money instead of crack.

Breadhead by 🅱️ U S 3 4 8 March 30, 2022