Vegan Wank 

The act of masturbating with ones elbows, whilst using lettuce for texture.

Eyal: What did you do last night?

Finch: I bashed out a vegan wank in the garden

Vegan Wank by HALOTHANES November 11, 2018

Vegan Wanker 

A part-time vegan but a full time wanker.

You want to be a meditating, creative, yogi with the strength and flexibility of Ghandi and BOY do you tell people about it. But you are constantly failing.

You definitely do yoga, and let everyone know about it through all available social media and by literally hollering it down the street while riding your fixie bike.

You film yourself doing yoga, the morning after a heavy binge session where you danced on the bar and went home with your friends little brother.

It's all in the juxtaposition of aiming high... and falling so low.

This morning I saw Fiona and she was telling me about this organic, sustainable farm she's working on this summer to learn about health conscious and mindful, vegan food production. Then I spotted her later from afar and she was inhaling a full family size packet of crisps. She's such a Vegan Wanker

Vegan Wanker by Vegan Wanker November 7, 2015