A legendary local menace (or hero, depending who you ask) known for sneak attacks on unsuspecting nipples during backyard bonfires, porch swings, or any unsupervised moment north of Vista View Circle. Equal parts myth and misdemeanor, this cheeky bandit leaves a trail of startled gasps, missing bras, and confused squirrels.
Hide your kids, hide your wife, lock up your coolers and clasp your bras — the Upper Fort Scott Titty Nibbler was spotted creeping behind the hedges on Vista View Circle again last night, right after the karaoke machine shorted out.
by Busty Bonita July 20, 2025
Get the Upper Fort Scott Titty Nibblermug.