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university of san francisco 

the university of san francisco is the best high school on the west coast. you know you go to usf when: you pay as much for a degree at stanford, but no one has ever heard of your school; people constantly ask if you're a med student; you've fallen down stairs on your way to class; you can price coc, weed, shrooms, and e by asking your r.a; you've had sex in one of the following places: the lounge of any dorm, the butt hut, the library, the gym--koret or memorial, roof of any building on campus, the guardshack, or your dorm room while your roommate was still there; you've frequented all the geary bars before the age of 21; you've been to castro on halloween once, and never went back; you don't even have a college football team, and all the other teams suck.
see also: rich kids who have nothing to do but spend their parents money
usf student: i go to usf
random person: oh so you're a med student?

i have a liberal arts education from usf.
Words you can keep

university of san francisco 

the university of san francisco is the best high school on the west coast. you know you go to usf when: you pay as much for a degree at stanford, but no one has ever heard of your school; people constantly ask if you're a med student; you've fallen down stairs on your way to class; you can price coc, weed, shrooms, and e by asking your r.a; you've had sex in one of the following places: the lounge of any dorm, the butt hut, the library, the gym--koret or memorial, roof of any building on campus, the guardshack, or your dorm room while your roommate was still there; you've frequented all the geary bars before the age of 21; you've been to castro on halloween once, and never went back; you don't even have a college football team, and all the other teams suck.
I have a liberal arts education from usf.

University of San Francisco 

A liberal arts diploma mill often confused with University of Southern Florida, UCSF, or SFSU—so much so that “CA” has to be added to clarify it’s just USF, an overpriced private school with minimal campus life. There’s little sense of community, our Donaroo is hit-or-miss, and for parties, you’re better off at SFSU. USF boasts about diversity, even tho it’s mostly Midwestern liberal pick-me girls and ultra-wealthy Chinese international students who barely speak English but could afford to put your whole family in their sweatshops back home.

The student body is a mix of self-righteous progressives, moody rich kids, and trust fund babies, with about 10% actually down-to-earth. Any non-liberal opinion will get you side-eyed, and most students slowly realize their $80K tuition wasn’t worth it. Maybe some are still just coming off Adderall. Hard to tell.

Faculty mostly understand the tuition scam and avoid expensive textbooks—unless you’re pre-med or law, in which case you already messed up. The admins, mismanages funds, underpays staff, and faces constant janitorial strikes. Dorms are bare-bones (“minimalist”), cafeteria food is bland, and sports are irrelevant.

The only perks? The location and an alumni network full of rich, old-school Italian- Catholics who don’t care about USF’s so-called values. You’ll wish you’d gone to a state school.
The University of San Francisco maybe be hilariously liberal, but at least we’re sleepy enough to not be Berkeley
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