Turd Perfect 

As good as things can get for a piece of shit

Friend: Life is fucking awful

Other friend: for you, they're Turd Perfect

Turd Perfect by CatherineWilsonisAFatCunt January 26, 2017

perfect turd 

A perfect turd is a turd produced in one push that is a solid column of shit that rests on the bottom of the toilet bowl with its top poking out above the water line.

Jack laid a perfect turd that when he checked his performance was standing up in the bowl looking back up at him

perfect turd by witchieblackcat February 8, 2018

TurdPerfect 

The old computer program suite from Corel that only stick-in-mud ancient Lawyers use. It's a royal PITA for convert from, especially when complex formatting is used

Dammit, another TurdPerfect document to convert....when will these damn Lawyers enter this Century??

TurdPerfect by The White Morpheus October 31, 2013