Todayn't 

Not today

A: When are you gonna do this.
B: Todayn't.

Todayn't by SmerkRoll March 4, 2023

if you need to ask someone to do you a favor today then come right out with it and don’t worry that they might refuse. Chances are they have been hoping you will call on them to assist you and will help out with no questions asked 

if you need to ask someone to do you a favor today then come right out with it and don’t worry that they might refuse. Chances are they have been hoping you will call on them to assist you and will help out with no questions asked

if you need to ask someone to do you a favor today then come right out with it and don’t worry that they might refuse. Chances are they have been hoping you will call on them to assist you and will help out with no questions asked

if you need to ask someone to do you a favor today then come right out with it and don’t worry that they might refuse. Chances are they have been hoping you will call on them to assist you and will help out with no questions asked by TheGeneralGenitalsPranksterian May 15, 2025

T-t-t-today Junior

By saying this you are mocking someone who is taking a long time to pronounce a word preceding with the letter 'T' and is stuck on the first syllable of that word.

Made famous in the film, Billy Madison

Timmy: Well, yesterda-day I decided to go to my dad's house and I t-t-t-t-t-..

John: T-T-T-TODAY JUNIOR!!!

T-t-t-today Junior by jayjayg7 January 12, 2012

I just can't Trump today 

Nothing accomplished

Not going to work
Excuses

I just can't Trump today.

I just can't Trump today by Mandyjane August 9, 2017

i don't want to go to school today i want to stay home and bake cookies with you 

from the movie Space Jam. Often used by men who are dating women that are no good for them, in circumstances such as Facebook. usually found by the next girlfriend many years later.

(On a guy's facebook page) "I don't want to go to school today I want to stay home and bake cookies with you...(insert skank's name here)".

i don't want to go to school today i want to stay home and bake cookies with you by nonymoose999 May 20, 2011

When Today Is Friday But John Didn't Go To The Movies: 

A meme on Reddit that people started making darker versions of like, John didn't go to the movies because he was killed by minions.

Wanna go to the movies on Friday John?
When today is Friday but John didn't go to the movies:

When Today Is Friday But John Didn't Go To The Movies: by BootyJuice21 September 22, 2023

I didn't even have Taco Bell today 

A saying used by someone who has come up with a case of unjust diarrhea. They don't know what they are. They just know they are shitting their brains out. (Note: this is interchangeable with Chipotle, both have been known to cause explosive diarrhea and in some cases shit blood)

Jimmy: dude what's wrong with you?
Nick: I don't know dude I've been to the bathroom 13 times in the last 2 hours. I don't even know what happened I didn't even have Taco Bell today

I didn't even have Taco Bell today by T. Thunda January 10, 2015