Guy 1: "Fuck, man; I swear that night went down so differently in my head."
Guy 2: "Yeah, you were pretty much just dancing around while throwing up all over those girls and talking about how awesome you felt."
Guy 1: "Jose Cuervo's Theory of Relativity is a bitch."

Also see: Beer Goggles

Jose Cuervo's Theory of Relativity by -Shitfaced- May 12, 2010

Einstein's very Special Theory of Relativity

An advanced sexual maneuver whereby your girlfriend deep-throats you far enough down that your pubes look a bit like an Albert Einstein mustache on her upper lip, and then she recites Albert Einstein quotes as best she can.

"God does mmph play mppphhh."

"Mmmmphhh equals mmmmmphhh C sqummmph"

-Probable utterances by a person performing Einstein's *very* special theory of relativity.

Einstein's *very* Special Theory of Relativity by Televangelist July 7, 2009

What is the purpose of Einstein's theory of relativity, Lobachewsky geometry and calculus?

This is a very serious question and it must be answered carefuly and gradualy.
First, let's see what is the ourpose of Einstein's theory of relativity. Well, it helps an astrophysicist to calculate the trajectory of a galaxy, because at such a large speeds an distances relativistic effects are very important. Than he earns some mony for his calculations, which he uses to buy a car and a flat, so he can get laid. In essence, Einstein's theory's purpose is to get laid.

Geometry of Lobachewsky is about curved space. It is useful for another astrophysicist, to calculate effects of passege of a small black hole next to our solar system, and its effects on our space-time. He will get some mony for his calculations from the agency he works for, so that he can buy a car and a flat, and get laid. In essence, geometry of Lobachewsky is used just to get laid.

And finnaly, let's see what is the burpose of calculus. Well, calculus studies behaviour of systems during some period of time depending on various variables. An engineer employed in hydroelectric power plant uses it to calculet the production of electricity, which depends on the rate of flow of the water through turbines, ammount of water in accumulation etc. It is impossible without calculus. Of course, our engineer won't do this just like that. He will earn money from company he works for, so that he can buy a car and a flat, where he can get laid. In essence, the purpose of calculus is getting laid.

If you want to now more about other scientific disciplines and their purposes contact us at newscientist@harvard.ma.us. But, sincerely, we suppose that you already now the answers.

Student: "What is the purpose of einstein's theory of relativity, lobachewsky geometry and calculus?"
Proffessor: "To get laid!"

What is the purpose of Einstein's theory of relativity, Lobachewsky geometry and calculus? by J.Z. - vukajlija April 24, 2009

Boyfriend Theory of Relativity

Boyfriend Theory of Relativity is a PUA term where the PUA once confronted with his Targets admission that she has a Boyfriend must determine through questioning in a friendly and non devaluing way to the Boyfriend the relativity of the Boyfriend in the targets relationship.

The idea is to determine if a healthy Boyfriend / Girlfriend relationship exists. The idea is to ask open ended questions allowing the target to give information concerning the relationship. The PUA can then determine if the relationship is in poor condition and that he can convey higher value thus attracting the interest of the target, or if the relationship is healthy and unassailable he should then move on to a new target.

It is natural for a woman to be reluctant to move out of one relationship unless there is hope of another relationship close at hand, and so this theory is designed to determine the health of a Boyfriend / Girlfriend relationship and work to displace the Boyfriend if the relationship is unhealthy.

Jennifer is hoot but said she has a boyfriend....I am going to use the Boyfriend Theory of Relativity on her to see if she is ready to move on out of that relationship.

Boyfriend Theory of Relativity by Mayhem Burns January 1, 2012

You met me at a very Chinese time in my life

A moment in time where you feel distinctly Chinese over all other things.

Dante: "I wish I could be Nigerian, but I can't because I'm Chinese. You met me at a very Chinese time in my life."

You met me at a very Chinese time in my life by Sus Chad September 21, 2026

Word of the Day on September 25, 2026

crunchy

Adjective. Used to describe persons who have adjusted or altered their lifestyle for environmental reasons. Crunchy persons tend to be politically strongly left-leaning and may be additionally but not exclusively categorized as vegetarians, vegans, eco-tarians, conservationists, environmentalists, neo-hippies, tree huggers, nature enthusiasts, etc.

Also used to describe establishments where alternative foods and products are sold, i.e. natural food stores.

Modified derivative of granola.

"I need more crunchy guys in my life. I'm so tired of dating preppy metrosexual assholes."

"I'm heading out to the crunchy store to pick up some fair trade chocolate and tea tree oil, do you need anything?"

crunchy by EBC July 11, 2007

Word of the Day on September 24, 2026

Galantir

A group of people, typically women, searching through someone’s digital footprint in order to find more information about that person.

Susie wasn’t sure if her new Hinge match was a creep, so she assembled Galantir and they found out he used to post slurs on gaming forums.

Galantir by Ge-sus September 22, 2026

Word of the Day on September 23, 2026

murderhobo

In a tabletop game, a murderhobo is a player who murders NPCs indiscriminately. This is normally derogatory, referring to a player who totally ignores quests, dialog, backstory, trade, world building etc.

The term is most common with Dungeons and Dragons, but it can be applied to most RPGs where the player is allowed to kill most quest-giving NPCs and NPC traders. E.g. Elder Scrolls, Fallout, Divinity original sin.

DM: The sad little orphan girl tugs at Steve's trenchcoat to get his attention, and ask for help saving her pet dog from...
Steve: I'd like to roll a strength check against strangling the orphan.
Dave: I call dibs on the dog.
DM: You murderhobos disgust me.

murderhobo by Loup&S September 9, 2021

Word of the Day on September 22, 2026

Whale

In sales terms, a whale is a prospect that is significantly larger than an organization’s average customer.

Whales are large and extremely difficult to close. Due to their immense size, they are highly sought-after.

A whale is typically identified at first by a whale hunter on the sales team, but often requires cross-discipline participation in order to close; this includes assistance from operations, engineering, creative, client success, and business development teams.

"Shit...the sales director chewed me out on the sales call this morning. He's totally pissed that I have nothing in my pipeline. I've been focused on this one whale for so long that I haven't had time to prospect for normal-sized deals."

Whale by FQ_GFY February 3, 2020

Word of the Day on September 21, 2026

Concrete cowboy

A guy who thinks he's a country kinda guy, but in reality lives a comfortable city / suburban life.

Eugene: Look at that dude in the cowboy hat!
Todd: He's just a concrete cowboy.

Concrete cowboy by EugeneJohnson42000 March 16, 2024

Word of the Day on September 20, 2026