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behead the brown tortoise 

Verb: To take a shit. So called because the act of the sphyncter muscles, whilst pinching off the loaf, creates a guillotine effect upon the toroise's (the shit) neck.
"Hey guys, I'd love to go to the store with you, but I've really got to behead the brown tortoise right now."
behead the brown tortoise by A Dub November 10, 2008

beheading the turtle 

When you are turtle heading and sneeze which in turn chops the head off
I was turtle heading and sneezed which beheading the turtle
beheading the turtle by NotABam October 10, 2017