The Mythical Mr. Boo 

A man so elusive, so mysterious, that nobody's 100 percent sure he even exists. And although there are sceptics out there, they can't prove that he doesn't exist. One thing's for sure, he has a reputation of a mystic, urban guru.

The Mythical Mr. Boo just had his tear ducts surgically relocated to his groin, because the only time he cries is when he's standing in front of a urinal.

The Mythical Mr. Boo is intergenerational. If you are what you wear, he is his own grandma.

The Mythical Mr. Boo always lifts the lid of the toilet before he pees. Then he sits down while doing so.

The Mythical Mr. Boo enjoys wearing fish flesh, or "sea scales," as he calls them, and tauntingly dancing in front of hungry kittens.

The Mythical Mr. Boo is half Irish. The whole left side of his body is a Leprechaun. I think that's why The Mythical Mr. Boo likes pots of gold so much.

The Mythical Mr. Boo doesn't believe in luck, although he does enjoy chopping off rabbit's feet.

The Mythical Mr. Boo is like a fog that creeps about your window while you are fornicating with your wife. And just like fog, if the police ever catch him, he'll be cleared by morning.

The Mythical Mr. Boo by Jarod Kintz June 23, 2007