1.noun - Shee-tek-tiv
Women who waste
time investigating things they already know the answers to.
Instead of using known facts to make a decision, the investigation of the situations is more important. Sometimes leaving Shetectives in terrible relationships for months or years while they conduct their investigations.
Shetectives use investigative methods that they feel are
ok because they are women, but would feel those methods are controlling or abusive if used by men.
Shetective investigate methods include but are not limited to:
~Waiting for
time alone with your phone so that she can
go through all contacts, texts, pictures and calls.
~Not knowing how to do anything on a
computer but search your browser
history.
~Revisiting old questions and conversations by pretending you have not discussed them to see if your answers were the same as last
time.
~Manipulating you into checking your voicemail from a phone that captures all numbers keyed into it. Even the ones after the actual phone number. These extra numbers
will contain your voicemail pin which she
will identify and use to listen to your voicemail later or when you are asleep.
Shetective - I saw you having dinner with your
ex. You said you were going to your moms house.
Shaggy - Wasn't me.
Shetective - I saw you kiss her.
Shaggy - Wasn't me.
Shetective - Ok. It was dark
maybe it wasn't you. Lets go to
bed. Here baby check your messages I think your mother called.
Later that evening at 2am.
Shetective - Wake your @$$ up!!!! Why is your
ex leaving you voicemails about being pregnant!