Strong Badian Riverquest Safariventure 

1) Strong Bad's current and only theme park ride that resides in Strong Badia. It consists of a cardboard box for a boat, water from a leaky hose for a river, a smaller box for The Cheat, a fake rock-on-a-stick, and a cardboard cut-out of a "headhunter" which is just a crappy drawing of a bear holding up a shark.

2) Also known as: The Strong Badian Riverboat Superfun ... Ride

3) Might be the worst three-thousand dollars you'll ever spend.

SB: Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen my name is Strong Bad and welcome to the Strong Badian Riverquest Safariventuuure...
Please keep your arms legs and valuables inside the vehicle at all times, and get ready to experience the fury of...
The strong Badian Riverboat Superfuuun...
Riiide...

And first up on our tour if you look to your right, experience the fury of...
a big rock that's going to fall on uuus...

H*R: Ohhhhhhh....

SB: That was a close call, I hope everyone is okaaay...

H*R: I'm not o-- SB: Shut up.

SB: Oh and if you look up the river, here comes another one our tour guides his name is The Cheat everybody say "Hi, The Cheeeeat!"...

(The Cheat walks on by in a little box)

H*R: Hide and seeeek...

(Island drums start playing)

SB: Oh what's that I hear is it the sound of island drums, oh no it's headhunteeers...

(Bear holding shark pops up)

SB: Everyone stay in the boat, I'll take care-a diiiis...

(Strong Bad shoots twice at the bear with a fake gun)

SB: Looks like we scared those headhunters, let's hope they don't come baaack...

Well folks we made it back safely did everyone have a good time--(H*R: Not weally.)--goood...

Please leave your valuables under your seat, and exit to your riiight...

H*R: Stwong Bad, I gotta level with ya. That *might* have been ... the wuast thwee-thousand dollaous I evoh spent!

SB: Don't forget to experience the fury of...
our gift shooop...

Strong Badian Riverquest Safariventure by cwapface July 1, 2004