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Spatulatory Rape 

the common act of using a spatula while cooking to enter into something and/or separate it from sticking or to stir some mixture until the correct consistency is acquired for further steps in the cooking process, without the permission of inanimate objects because inanimate objects can't consent

OR

to use the handle end of a spatula as a dildo without permission, often in place of using one's one penis or strap-on for a number of illogical reasons
Lucy: The only sex around here before eight is spatulatory rape, and that's only when I cook.

Mary: That's disappointing. You need to remind Joe of his Seduciary Responsibility .

OR

Lucy: Oh! Yeah! Like that! Wait, what do I feel?

Joe: I heard from Mary's husband Bob that you like spatulatory rape, so I'm using the spatula instead since you like it so much.
Spatulatory Rape by Perry Winnwet January 23, 2010
Words you can keep

Spatulatory Rape 

Suggestively brandishing a condom-covered spatula so as to seduce young, attractive women to accompany you in your age 18+ sex kitchen while neglecting to check IDs.
Jimmy justifies his prick-risky lifestyle to Ben:

Ben- "You really should start checking these chick's IDs Jimmy, you're gunna be in some serious trouble with the law if you aren't careful man."

Jimmy- "I've said it before and I'll say it again. If a fish with an itchin' takes trips to my kitchen, my spatula packs for that clit's jurisdiction."

Ben- "Why do you always rhyme about committing spatulatory rape? I bought that shit to cook with you quirky jerkin pig diddlin' pudge tugger!"
Spatulatory Rape by Kane67 June 13, 2013

statuatory rape 

Yeah, she WANTED to have sex with you, butt, she's only 15. If word gets around, you could go to prison for statuatory rape you fucktard!
statuatory rape by Sex Ed December 1, 2006
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