A very uncommon syndrome acquired from constant and rigorous wiping of the
asshole. Most common symptoms include (but are not limited to): bleeding from the anus, discomfort when sitting down, a little voice coming from your rear end telling you to eat more Chipotle, and uncontrollable desire to dress and act like
Joseph Gordon-Levitt did in 500 Days of
Summer.
Me: I just can't stop bleeding from my
asshole doc.
Doc: Have you been watching 500 Days of
Summer?
Me:...What if I have?
Doc: I'm afraid that you have Sniveling
Anus Syndrome.