-noun, plural 'screenwriters'
1. That guy who works as a receptionist and has been doing so for years. He keeps telling you about this killer idea he's working on, but you've never seen a single page.
2. Any idiot who failed English in high school or
college.
3. A career track at an institution of higher learning like USC, UCLA, or CMU. Usually taught by a 'working professional' who sold one script about a
hero dog who saves his owner. Ironically, the cost of tuition far exceeds what most
people will make as a career screenwriter.
4. Anyone with an opinion about a movie who believes they could do better if given the chance.
5. Anyone with access to word processing software.
No one on the
set tells the director or producer how to direct or produce. But everyone's a Goddamn writer. Everyone tells the screenwriter how to write.
Screenwriters need to realize that scripts are
kinda like
assholes: everyone's got at least one.
