Schlondike

Schlondike (noun, slang, humorous)

A prized or “rare find” in a sexual/attraction sense (like someone being especially desirable)

or an unexpected win

A playful, made-up term combining “schlong” and “Klondike,” used jokingly.

"He wasn’t even my type at first… lowkey a schlondike situation.”

“I wasn’t looking for anything, then you happened… total schlondike.”

by smorewhore March 18, 2026

Schlongie Kong

The most retardedly large, hairiest, and most beastly cock imaginable by man.

Oh my fucking god!!! Is that his dick!?! Dayum!!! That motherfucker has a schlongie kong!!!

by Pcott Setty May 1, 2008

schlonkied

Wasted out of your mind!

Last night I downed that fireball and took 12 shots of jager and I was fucking schlonkied

by Ky Fuckn Kidd January 24, 2014

Schlonkered

Being extremely intoxicated, to the point when you say the word it sounds normal. Usually involves large quantities of premium malt beverages and gratuitous amounts of friends.

"Hey Jenny! Steve, Scott and Jimmy were extremely Schlonkered after playing 18 holes with your Grandpa."

by James Holter April 30, 2008

Schlonkey

When a dick goes up a girls butt so she wont shit straight for a week

Schlon(g)- penis
(Don)key- ass- butthole

David gave Betsy a schlonkey, so she had to got to the doctor and have a rectal xray.

by A-phish January 30, 2010

schlonckered

To be so tired or fucked up that your probably just dead

I was so Schlonckered last night that I woke up next to Sienna Mae

by Sienna Mae March 11, 2022

schlonkey ride

Similar to a donkey ride, but a little wilder. Instead of a hairy mule, a schlongbeast will be present to perform to the special treatment required by the pleasure seekers.

Hop aboard the schlongzilla express, it's time for a schlonkey ride.

by schlongbeast December 1, 2004