Sauna Roulette 

A favourite past time enjoyed by gay men whereby a spiteful bottom will consume a curry, fresh cup of coffee or a handful of laxatives before attending a sauna or beat. The act of infiltrating an otherwise cleaned and prepped sauna and excreting a substantial amount of faeces over a top's penis, body or face, then escaping to the shadows laughing in hopes of preying on more tops.

For those with lactose intolerance, you may also consume milk or dairy products to induce a rapid bowel movement.

**To set the scene, it is a warm, summery Melbourne evening. Nick, a young, twinky gay man from Brunswick is bored and has just gone through a serious breakup. He spent the day working a 6am-1pm shift at the cafe down the road and has his Friday night off.
Nick: I'm so bored tonight! We've been in lockdown so long, I want to get out, explore and sleep with heaps of men to get back at Brad who just broke up with me.
Nick's bad conscience: Go to Wet on Wellington and shit on everyone!
Nick's good conscience: No Nick! You need to book in with your psychologist and work on getting through this breakup in a healthy manor.
Nick: hmmm...
***Several hours later, Nick is in the kitchen, staring at a large cucumber in his fridge, reminiscing about Brad, the boy he just went through a serious breakup with
Nick: Damn I miss Brad, he was amazing, he had a MASSIVE dong and a great personality!
***Nick looks at the leftover Lamb Rogan Josh on the second shelf in the fridge
Nick's bad conscience: Yeah you filthy bottom you! Have some of that and go to Wet! Spin the chamber and play some Sauna Roulette!
Nick's good conscience: No Nick! Don't go to Wet! You need to stay home, have a nice dinner, and a hot shower... not too long though, Brunswick has water restrictions at the moment and we need to think of the poor cattle farmers in central Australia that are struggling with drought! Also recycle!

Sauna Roulette by GayMelbourneBoy February 14, 2022