Saint Martin’s Catholic Academy 

A Catholic secondary school based in rural Stoke Golding, a village just outside the town of Hinckley, it boasts a healthy level of academic achievement and has had impressive GCSE results since it’s transformation into a 11-16 school seven years ago. This change, however, has given rise to a shift in the school’s demographics. No longer does the school consist of exclusively middle class students from the surrounding villages, whose parents pick them up in the car park each day in massive 4 by 4s presumably to counter the occasional leaves that fall on the end of their mansion’s drive, for the change in local school systems caused many students from the working class Hinckley that would’ve otherwise attended a more modest school such as Hinckley Academy or Redmoor to commute on the infamous Beaver Bus daily. This change has created a peculiar environment in the school were rich and poor are educated in harmony. This will, no doubt, be the middle-class students’ only experience of the working class before they go on to work as a hedge fund manager and fund the Conservative Party while putting their earnings into an offshore account.

Catholic Priest at Sunday Mass: “So, what schools does everyone’s children go to?”
All (in unison): “Saint Martin’s Catholic Academy!”

Saint Martin’s Catholic Academy by Suntan Dave December 8, 2021