relationship test

1) n. A secret task or condition you place on a person who you've just started dating to evaluate whether or not that person is relationship material.

2) n. A detrimental, often self-destructive lie of great significance told to expose the true character of one's partner. This is often done (ironically) in efforts to overcome one's own fear of commitment or to sabotage the relationship. (See mind fuck.)

3) n. The date during which one introduces one's partner to one's family for purposes of evaluating the long term viability of the relationship.

When Matt goes on a first date with a chick, he opens her car door first and then walks around back. If she doesn't reach over and unlock his door, she fails the relationship test 'cause she's probably a selfish cunt.

Whenever Claire needs to figure out if she wants to continue seeing some guy, she breaks out the, "I'm biologically male" relationship test. Then she sits back and watches the sparks fly.

relationship test by lugnutwrench July 6, 2008

Brønsted Relationship 

Describes the correlation between degree of attraction and relationship kinetics. When used to describe a precise period within a relationship it indicates the "friends with benefits" zone; when log (attraction) is proportional to log (rate of relationship progression). Unfortunately no Bronsted Relationship lasts forever, hence the "ø." Eventually the linear correlation breaks down when the mechanism of attraction changes as the relationship matures. Also at very high degrees of attraction, the rate may become saturated and become a zero order process. As in both parties are focusing on zero considerations apart from physical intimacy.

Human 1: "Dude; Jack and Rose are all over each other!"
Human 2: "Yea it's still a Brønsted Relationship."
Human 1: "Well it's a bummer cause Jack never comes over to watch football or make creme brulee anymore."
Human 2: "Don't worry, in a few months they'll be over it."

Brønsted Relationship by Big Diggity January 16, 2015

I'm not ready for a relationship 

Translation: You are annoying and our interactions need to end immediately.

Uttered when a person realizes a dating partner is not worth it/crazy. A form of "it's not you, it's me." A lie to quickly end things without hurting the other person's feelings. Often has the opposite effect as the other party may engage in manipulative techniques to avoid a break up. Smooth as butter when it works.

Scenario 1
Person A: Hey I know we've been seeing each other for a while but after a lot of thinking, I'm not ready for a relationship.

Person 2: Oh I see. Well I guess I'll see you around. Thanks for letting me know.

Scenario 2
Person A: Hey I know we've been seeing each other for a while but after a lot of thinking, I'm not ready for a relationship.

Person B: What do you mean? *Insert 3 hours of bs*

Person A: I'm sorry I can't talk about this anymore. *Blocks person B*

I'm not ready for a relationship by zeropersonality January 31, 2020

quasiplatonic relationship 

A term for people who are in a relationship that exceeds society's boundaries for friendships, but do not experience romantic attraction for the other. Also known as a queerplatonic relationship or QPR. Often replaces queerplatonic relationship as people in QPRs are not necessarily queer and the term queerplatonic relationship may cause confusion.
Partners in QPRs are often known as a zucchini, a term that began as an inside joke in the asexual and aromantic community.

Person 1: I'm really confused. I like you a lot, more than a friend should, but it's not in a romantic way.

Person 2: I feel the same way. I heard about a thing called a quasiplatonic relationship, and I think that would make sense for us. Would you like to be my QP partner?
Person 1: Yes please

quasiplatonic relationship by fish-prinx June 28, 2016

Mutual Extramarital Relationship 

When both members of a married couple are simultaneously in a relationship with the same third party.

Girl: Can Scarlett Johansson be our Mutual Extramarital Relationship?
Guy: What?
Girl: You know, we both get to bang her if we get the chance.

Mutual Extramarital Relationship by RICH TEEJ October 6, 2011

queerplatonic relationship 

A relationship that exceeds what is usually considered as a platonic relationship, in which two or more people have a strong emotional bond, but do not experience romantic attraction. They may hold hands, cuddle, kiss, have sex, etc. or may not. The limits are defined by someone and their zucchini or zucchinis, and them alone. Many people on the asexual or aromantic spectrum are in queerplatonic relationships, also called QPRs.
Note: People do not have to be queer to be in a queerplatonic relationship, which is why it is also called a quasiplatonic relationship.

Person 1: Are you and Sandra dating? You seem really affectionate.
Person 2: Not really. I'm aromantic, and so is Sandra. We're in a queerplatonic relationship.

queerplatonic relationship by fish-prinx June 28, 2016

magnetic relationship

two sodomites are together in a relationship and one is hiv - and one is hiv+ then they are considered magnetic as in like or opposite poles in a magnet - vs +

tieg has hiv and bryan does not so they are like opposite poles of a magnet and are drawn together as soon as tieg infects bryan and they are both hiv+ then they will be pushed apart and their relationship will fail,then they will go out and persue other magnetic relationships

magnetic relationship by stoolivan May 23, 2022