Penilemice are small creatures that bury into your penis and make it erect as they eat it from the inside, the only way to get rid of them however is to buy cats.
"Oh no! I have Penilemice in me!"
"Dude you better buy some cats quickly!"
Being unable to get up from your chair because you’re trapped by a sleeping pet on some necessary part of your body (and duh, you can’t disturb the sleeping fur baby, no matter how desperately you need to pee (or whatever)).
“Honey, could you get me a beer? Bowie’s on my lap, and I’m petplegic.”