Jess started accelerating before we got to the bump so I grabbed the oh crap strap and kissed my ass good-bye. We flew through the fucking air at 70 mph!
What you say the moment you realize you blew it, sometimes even when you didn't screw up beyond. It's always said or thought before an imminent mishap, like falling down the stairs, or breaking something in which case more severe profanity is utilized immediately afterwards. By now you know what I mean. It's also an expression of embarrassment.
Cigarette: Northern slang for a cigarette, used oft by mashed up mancunian ravers becasue of the resemblance of a hot(electric)stove to the end of a lit cigarette. Originated circa 1991 in the early halcyon days of the rave culture; we speculate during a drug fuelled hallucination by said manc.
'fuck me noel, i am bolloxed, is that a ciggy in your mouth, or the stove from me 'nans kitchen'/
General use: 'Give us a stove you cunt'