Skip to main content

No Jareds 

Below you will find when to say "No Jareds" and what it means when you use them.

1. When someone says "no johns", or no excuses, to something where you have a very legitimate excuse. Using "No Jareds" as a retort means the person saying "no johns" has no basis to say "no johns" and are thereby wrong.

2. When you are correct but the other person refuses to acknowledge or accept that you are indeed right. "No Jareds" in this case means you are in fact correct but the other person is just too stupid, ignorant, and proud to accept it. No matter what, they won't admit they are wrong and you are right.

3. When someone is joking about something and then someone else (the person to whom we'll call Jared) calls you out on that and tries to use it against you.

4. When you blatantly lie about someone in desperate hopes to make others laugh. This also includes taking your own faults and declaring the other person guilty, thus being a hypocrite. Also, see the more general term, no jareds.
Definition #1:
Guy 1: So why didn't you go to the dance?
Guy 2: I was sick... (legitimately sick)
Guy 1: No johns!
Guy 2: No jareds!

Definition #2:
Guy 1: So, how much protein do you think is in a cup of grapes?
Guy 2: Hm, I'd say about one gram.
Guy 1: HAHA YOU IDIOT, MY MOTHER WHO IS A PATHOLOGIST SAYS THERE ISN'T ANY PROTEIN IN GRAPES!
Guy 2: Really..because nutritiondata.com states otherwise.
Guy 1: What..I-- No, that is just an unreliable ".com" blogging site, I choose to believe my mother; you are wrong and I am right.
Guy 2: No jareds...

Definition #3:

Guy 1: Christmas is on December 25.
Guy 2: No it's not! (joking, using a silly voice)
Guy 1: Yes it is, it always has been and always will be.
Guy 2: I was kidding, learn to take a joke. No jareds!

Definition #4:

Guy 1: Wow you immature nub, stop abusing your admin powers!
Guy 2: ..You barely have any powers and still abuse everything you can in the game. You think I would give you more to mess with? NO JAREDS
No Jareds by Complete Truth December 2, 2009
Related Words

girl grip 

The ability girls and women have developed to hold several items at once in one hand. The skill has been developed due to the lack of pockets in women's clothing.
I thought she'd need multiple trips to carry her phone, keys, wallet, and Starbucks to her car since she needed the other hand to open the door, but she used her impressive girl grip to carry everything in one hand.
girl grip by SillyMilly33 July 31, 2023
Word of the Day on July 21, 2026

Condiment home

A term that refers to one persons household hold nothing but ingredients and condiments in the kitchen area
Person A: Hey dude you got some snacks?
Person B: Nah, i live in a fucking condiment home...
Word of the Day on July 20, 2026

bang a you-ee 

of Massachusetts orig. "to make a u-turn"
hey, we missed the bar, bang a you-ee
Word of the Day on July 19, 2026
The word 'flag' as pronounced by people with thick Belfast accents. The term is a perfect encapsulation of the disproportionate and overblown reaction to the removal of the Union Jack (as in 'de fleg') from above City Hall in Belfast. Where previously it had flown for 365 days per year, it is now flown on 17 designated days of the year - in line with many other British cities.

The event caused a portion of the Protestant community ('fleggers') to make international pricks of themselves as they proceeded to wreck the fucking place, claiming it was another erosion of a 'British' identity they perceive to have been under attack since the horrifying spectre of equality reared its head in Northern Ireland.

The word 'fleg' - and indeed 'fleggers' - fittingly describes a section of humanity unconcerned with knowledge, reality or the vagaries of the English language. Like America's tea-baggers they are ruled by instinct, fear and paranoia with a side dish of rampant bigotry and startling ignorance of the world around them.
"Wat de fuck like! The taigs got de fleg took down! Let's wreck de fuckin place! No surrender!"

"De fleg has been took down! Before ye know it there'll be a united Ireland! Attack Short Strand! God Save The Queen!"
Fleg by OnionFleg August 9, 2013
Word of the Day on July 18, 2026
To take something small, that doesn't quite qualify as a theft. Probably from the Danish "skæv" or the Dutch "scheef", both of which are pronounced similarly, meaning "askew, or not quite right'. To change an item's ownership without permission, but only something small and of little worth.
"I skeefed an apple off the neighbor's tree." "I skeefed some chips outta your bag when you looked away." "Don't skeef my chair when I go to the bathroom."
Skeef by kachinaflonk July 16, 2026
Word of the Day on July 17, 2026