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I don't know if I need a shit or a haircut

Originally Northern Irish, this expression shows confusion. As in:
(1) I'm so drunk I don't know if I need a shit or a haircut!
(2) What the fuck are you talking about?! You don't know if you need a shit or a haircut!

CALL ME IF YOU NEED ANYTHING 

I'm scared too but I'd rather deal with it than have you deal with it
"Hey mom i'm headed out!"

"CALL ME IF YOU NEED ANYTHING!"

if you need to ask someone to do you a favor today then come right out with it and don’t worry that they might refuse. Chances are they have been hoping you will call on them to assist you and will help out with no questions asked 

if you need to ask someone to do you a favor today then come right out with it and don’t worry that they might refuse. Chances are they have been hoping you will call on them to assist you and will help out with no questions asked
if you need to ask someone to do you a favor today then come right out with it and don’t worry that they might refuse. Chances are they have been hoping you will call on them to assist you and will help out with no questions asked

even if you have, even if you need

Even if you have, even if you need
I don't mean to stare, we don't have to breed
We could plant a house, we could build a tree
I don't even care, we could have all three

If you ever need anyone to lick things for ya, I’m your guy 

“If you ever need anyone to lick things for ya, I’m your guy” is something Daniel Seavey said after licking a present under the mistletoe.
Daniel: If you ever need anyone to lick things for ya, I’m your guy
Limelights: oh hell yeah
It is said of the situation where a person has the bad luck to make contact with his testicles against an undefined surface or object, intentioned or not.
Given the nature of the word, it is more appropriate to design cases where the interaction is made with a moving object, for example, a ball.
Although it is extremely painful for the victim, it tends to be considerably funny to people who witness it.
Today in the baseball game the pitcher took a nutshot; the baseball hit him in the nuts.

Man, I just watched the funniest nutshot video ever.
Nutshot by Uberflaven March 1, 2009
Word of the Day on June 26, 2026