My Waleed 

My waleed is a nice guy with pretty eyes,he loves football he's favourite players are kdb and aguero , he plays football and i enjoy it when he talk to me about every goal he scores, he's a nerd and very good at math he's literally the whole package, he's the first boy i ever talked to ,called,watched movies with,and the first one i ever loved i'm always not sure what i want but in the waleed situation i knew i only wanted him, life feels like a dream or some fairytale story he's the reason i wake up every morning and when i go to bed i dream of him and I actually love it because i love him so much i started writing poetry about him i love everything about him i love his laugh when we call it feels safe,i like it when we call each other babe ,i love how fictional this man is,and i love him so much that i can't even believe we love each other ,7 months ago I didn't even believe in love and know I'm madly unconditionally in love with him, every song is about him and i love it we watched my favourite movies together and know i love these movies more we talk about our future life and i love it ,we finish each other's sentences and i love it i love it when he randomly says i love you or when he reads my mind or makes my life feels like a pretty love song, i love him so much and i know i will never know how to express it , to my waleed i love you so much babe.
you're the king of my heart

I love my waleed

My Waleed by L.w💗 November 21, 2023

Switched to porn when my mom walked in

A joke often used in the YouTube comments section, in which someone says "I switched to porn when my mom walked in, it's easier to explain."
People who use this joke think they are calling the video weird in a funny or original way, when in reality it's been plastered all over YouTube thousands of times. Someone who says this is often referred to as a faggot.

Person A: "Lol, this video is so weird I switched to porn when my mom walked in, it's easier to explain!"
Person B: "This joke has been viewed thousands of times and as such has been rendered completely humorless. I imagine even the dumbass that came up with the joke is weeping right now."

Switched to porn when my mom walked in by Cleffroski January 25, 2015

sorry my cat walked over my keyboard 

An overused excuse boys use when they're rejected by females

boy: Hey, I have a confession to make. We've been friends for a while now and I just have this positive feeling whenever I'm around you..its almost as if we were meant to be.

girl: I'm sorry...I like more as a friend
boy: sorry my cat walked over my keyboard . stupid cat

sorry my cat walked over my keyboard by Meerkat511 December 15, 2022

jerb 

well known from south park
rednecks get angrry that future folk took there jobs so they yell
They took ouare jerbs!

Them future folk took ouare jerbs!

jerb by Jimberley Kim April 7, 2005

Cheeks 

An Irish phrase meaning shit, derived from ass
(Not to be confused with the literal description of one's buttocks)

"Did you hear the song Aylek$ dropped?"
"Hardly. Her music is absolute cheeks."

"My boyfriend say LaFlame is cheeks."
"Tell your boyfriend I said it's his mixtape that's cheeks."

Cheeks by thecartisan April 26, 2020

sans sheriff 

Lawless use of fonts or typography, with no regard to aesthetics or legibility

I'm putting this CV straight in the bin. Written totally sans sheriff.

sans sheriff by Jamarley July 3, 2019

Breadhead 

Someone who is addicted to obtaining money and building wealth. A money addict and fanatic. Breadheads often work more than one full-time job, and some even participate in illicit activities to "obtain the bread".

A breadhead is like a crackhead, but for money instead of crack.

Breadhead by 🅱️ U S 3 4 8 March 30, 2022