Mortarboarding
Torture by graduation speeches.
Mortarboarding by AC Cobra July 9, 2009
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Motorboarding
An aggressive interrogation technique most likely not used in Guantanamo (citation needed) whereby the prisoner is suffocated by the application of a pair of large breasts until the point of semi-consciousness. The breasts are then briefly removed and the prisoner can breath for a few seconds. The breasts are then re-applied. The process is repeated ad infinitum until the prisoner gives up the secrets.
The technique requires a high degree of skill on the part of the interrogators. If the breasts are applied for too short a period, the prisoner is in fact motorboating, and it seems unlikely that s/he will give up important secrets under such conditions. In fact prisoners have been known to hold out the promise of fictitious secrets, simply in order to prolong the motorboating experience (citation needed, but hell, I would, wouldn't you?)
On the other hand, if the breasts are applied for too long, the prisoner will die, and take his or her secrets with them to the grave. Not the worst way to go, but definitely suboptimal.
The technique requires a high degree of skill on the part of the interrogators. If the breasts are applied for too short a period, the prisoner is in fact motorboating, and it seems unlikely that s/he will give up important secrets under such conditions. In fact prisoners have been known to hold out the promise of fictitious secrets, simply in order to prolong the motorboating experience (citation needed, but hell, I would, wouldn't you?)
On the other hand, if the breasts are applied for too long, the prisoner will die, and take his or her secrets with them to the grave. Not the worst way to go, but definitely suboptimal.
After a 30 minute motorboarding session with Big Bertha, the suspect was ready to give up his own right testicle if only she would stop.
Motorboarding by JustDaveHere February 21, 2015
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