Meditasturbation 

A form of meditation, typically performed by men, whereby - with the best of intentions - they go to a quiet room in their home, close the door with their iphone and AirPods. This attempt at maximizing “alone time” often results in men becoming bored of meditation turning instead to masturbation.

When done in a zen-like environment and with a relaxed mindset, this becomes a variant of guided meditation, which often leaves the Meditasturbater feeling rejuvenated and ready to start his day with a total time investment typically being not more than 3 minutes.

Friend: Have you ever tried Meditasturbation?

Stole: all the time. In fact, I got busted Meditasturbating again in my kid’s room yesterday.

Meditasturbation by Dr. Gibberish January 22, 2023

metasturbation 

Metasturbation is the practice of masturbating while thinking of yourself masturbating. This can be achieved simply through thought, or with mirrors or previously recorded photographs or videos of yourself masturbating.

"Dude, I walked in on my roommate metasturbating. He was blowing his load on a picture of his own face."

or

"Gosh, I love metasturbation. It's almost like getting myself off two times at once."

metasturbation by Dry Nasty October 28, 2011

Meditasturbating 

v. The act of masturbating, climaxing, and achieving Nirvana such that one goes into a state of meditative trance immediately afterward.

Jim: Why was Bob grounded?

Fred: His mom's a Mormon and they don't like it when you spill your seed.

Jim: But how did he get caught?

Fred: Well, he was Meditasturbating and forgot to clean the spooge...

Jim: Ohhhhhhhh

Meditasturbating by Daddy Whorebucks June 23, 2012

metasturbation 

When one fills a piece of his or her thought, art, or conversation with constant references to painstakingly woven fictions with their own embedded culture, language, fiction, etc.

The dialogue was fine but the plot was all metasturbation.

metasturbation by Bob Dobbins May 28, 2009