Meditasturbation 

A form of meditation, typically performed by men, whereby - with the best of intentions - they go to a quiet room in their home, close the door with their iphone and AirPods. This attempt at maximizing “alone time” often results in men becoming bored of meditation turning instead to masturbation.

When done in a zen-like environment and with a relaxed mindset, this becomes a variant of guided meditation, which often leaves the Meditasturbater feeling rejuvenated and ready to start his day with a total time investment typically being not more than 3 minutes.

Friend: Have you ever tried Meditasturbation?

Stole: all the time. In fact, I got busted Meditasturbating again in my kid’s room yesterday.

Meditasturbation by Dr. Gibberish January 22, 2023

metasturbation 

Metasturbation is the practice of masturbating while thinking of yourself masturbating. This can be achieved simply through thought, or with mirrors or previously recorded photographs or videos of yourself masturbating.

"Dude, I walked in on my roommate metasturbating. He was blowing his load on a picture of his own face."

or

"Gosh, I love metasturbation. It's almost like getting myself off two times at once."

metasturbation by Dry Nasty October 28, 2011

Meditasturbating 

v. The act of masturbating, climaxing, and achieving Nirvana such that one goes into a state of meditative trance immediately afterward.

Jim: Why was Bob grounded?

Fred: His mom's a Mormon and they don't like it when you spill your seed.

Jim: But how did he get caught?

Fred: Well, he was Meditasturbating and forgot to clean the spooge...

Jim: Ohhhhhhhh

Meditasturbating by Daddy Whorebucks June 23, 2012

metasturbation 

When one fills a piece of his or her thought, art, or conversation with constant references to painstakingly woven fictions with their own embedded culture, language, fiction, etc.

The dialogue was fine but the plot was all metasturbation.

metasturbation by Bob Dobbins May 28, 2009

Grindset

The grindset is a contemporary ideology of self-exploitation disguised as strength, deeply tied to the aesthetics of the “sigma male” and to new digital forms of patriarchy. It promotes the idea that human worth depends on productivity, economic success, absolute emotional control, and the ability to work endlessly, turning vulnerability, rest, community, and tenderness into signs of weakness. Beneath its rhetoric of discipline and power often lies a profound inability to relate healthily to pain, fragility, and human interdependence.

“That’s the grindset, brother. While weak men sleep and complain, sigma males stay disciplined, work in silence, suppress emotions, and build power while everyone else wastes time chasing comfort.”

Grindset by Omega-Male May 22, 2026

jerb 

well known from south park
rednecks get angrry that future folk took there jobs so they yell
They took ouare jerbs!

Them future folk took ouare jerbs!

jerb by Jimberley Kim April 7, 2005

Cheeks 

An Irish phrase meaning shit, derived from ass
(Not to be confused with the literal description of one's buttocks)

"Did you hear the song Aylek$ dropped?"
"Hardly. Her music is absolute cheeks."

"My boyfriend say LaFlame is cheeks."
"Tell your boyfriend I said it's his mixtape that's cheeks."

Cheeks by thecartisan April 26, 2020