Meditasturbation

A form of meditation, typically performed by men, whereby - with the best of intentions - they go to a quiet room in their home, close the door with their iphone and AirPods. This attempt at maximizing “alone time” often results in men becoming bored of meditation turning instead to masturbation.

When done in a zen-like environment and with a relaxed mindset, this becomes a variant of guided meditation, which often leaves the Meditasturbater feeling rejuvenated and ready to start his day with a total time investment typically being not more than 3 minutes.

Friend: Have you ever tried Meditasturbation?

Stole: all the time. In fact, I got busted Meditasturbating again in my kid’s room yesterday.

Meditasturbation by Dr. Gibberish January 22, 2023

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metasturbation

Metasturbation is the practice of masturbating while thinking of yourself masturbating. This can be achieved simply through thought, or with mirrors or previously recorded photographs or videos of yourself masturbating.

"Dude, I walked in on my roommate metasturbating. He was blowing his load on a picture of his own face."

or

"Gosh, I love metasturbation. It's almost like getting myself off two times at once."

metasturbation by Dry Nasty October 28, 2011

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Meditasturbating

v. The act of masturbating, climaxing, and achieving Nirvana such that one goes into a state of meditative trance immediately afterward.

Jim: Why was Bob grounded?

Fred: His mom's a Mormon and they don't like it when you spill your seed.

Jim: But how did he get caught?

Fred: Well, he was Meditasturbating and forgot to clean the spooge...

Jim: Ohhhhhhhh

Meditasturbating by Daddy Whorebucks June 23, 2012

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metasturbation

When one fills a piece of his or her thought, art, or conversation with constant references to painstakingly woven fictions with their own embedded culture, language, fiction, etc.

The dialogue was fine but the plot was all metasturbation.

metasturbation by Bob Dobbins May 28, 2009

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Toe Rag

A toe rag was originally a foot wrapping used, since mediaeval times up until the mid-nineteenth century, to protect the foot from chafing by boots or shoes. As these were, quite literally, rags they weren’t usually washed, and so with use they became very smelly until they were thrown away. Because of the similarity in smell, toe rag also became the name applied to dried, salted cod or other things with a strong, unpleasant, fishy smell. It didn’t take that long before the name was applied to someone who was an obnoxious, unpleasant OIC.

1 “Socks! Those aren’t socks you smelly git, they’re toe rags!”
2 “What have you been cooking? Smells like toe rag!”
3 “I can smell ‘er fanny from ‘ere, proper toe rag.”
4 That Heale Malcolm is a right toe rag.

Toe Rag by AKACroatalin November 29, 2016

Word of the Day on July 24, 2026

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Eternity leave

When some resigns or retires from a job, they are on "eternity leave". This can also refer to someone who has passed away, especially someone who worked somewhere for a long time, retired/resigned, then passed away later.

Oh I'm sorry, you didn't know that Kelly is on eternity leave? She resigned and moved to Hawaii!

With regrets I would like to inform you that my boss is officially on eternity leave. I will never see or hear them again. Ever.

Eternity leave by LingDanc803 February 7, 2023

Word of the Day on July 23, 2026

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jody

The hypothetical man (often a sinister character who decided not to go to boot camp) that is doing your girlfriend/wife while you are on deployment overseas.

Ain't no use in goin home,
Jody's got your girl and gone.
Ain't no use in goin back,
Jody's got your Cadillac,
Ain't no use in feeling blue,
Jody's took your checkbook too.

jody by Sgt Apan March 31, 2006

Word of the Day on July 22, 2026

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