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mechanical pencil 

A pencil you do not sharpen. You simply click twist or push down to replace your dull or broken graphite. Most college kids use these to avoid getting up over and over.
old man"i've been sharping this pencil for 10 minutes and its still not getting sharp"
Community College Student: "here bra just click it and sit your old ass down.
old man "whats this?"
Student: "a mechanical pencil, they cost thousands of dollars and are from Uranus now you owe me"
Old man "Can I pay you in 5 easy payments"
Student "uuuugh I guess"
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Mechanical Pencil 

When wood pencils just aren’t enough. These became popular roughly in the 2nd grade, kids would screech over these. A long thin piece of graphite, commonly found in the 0.3 to 0.9mm range. Finding one of these on the floor, especially when there is a lot of led inside of it is a status symbol of clout and wealth within the school walls. Kids will also cry when they loose one. Consider it your lucky day if you find a loaded mechanical pencil on the floor. You can buy a few pencils for one if you’re lucky! These are the best writing tools you can get access to, and since no one buys them, it may take a while to get one.
Kid: Dude, I just found a loaded mechanical pencil.
Other kid: How much led is inside?
Kid: 4 full sticks bro.
Other kid: Lucky! Toss me one?
Kid: Gonna cost you some cash brother.
Mechanical Pencil by Boing Doinkus December 20, 2018

Mechanical Pencil 

The act of hitting a man in the behind numerous times, while attempting to get him to ejaculate.
"Yeah, Jim has some sort of erectile dis-function. His wife has to give him the Mechanical Pencil to make him cum.

mechanical pencil 

wrap your dick in tin foil and go into intercourse with a woman while moaning "i need to finish the essay!" after ejaculation you say "i ran out of led, i need a refill"

mechanical pencil shit 

When you can't clean your anus after pooping no matter how many times you wipe. Usually a mechanical pencil shit is one that takes a long time to come out, so one begins to wipe prematurely before the whole poop has completely dislodged itself from the butt hole.

One's shit keeps refilling like a mechanical pencil: no matter how many times that one wipes, he can't get it clean.
This mechanical pencil shit took two rolls of toilet paper to wipe and I still haven't stopped shitting.

Mentioned by Adam Carolla on the Adam Carolla Podcast 8-11-11
mechanical pencil shit by pzeke August 14, 2011

Death by mechanical pencil! 

It is when you grab a mechanical pencil of any sort and threaten someone with it verbally, or just wield it like a madman
DEaTh By MecHANicAL PenCIl!!!!
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