married s&m 

Married S&M. Snoring & Masturbating. When the wife snores in the bedroom and the husband masturbates in another room.

Guy 1- What's your secret to being married so long? Guy 2- S&M. Guy 1- Wow, you wife likes bondage? Guy 2- No, Married S&M, she snores and I masturbate.

married s&m by supersab October 13, 2010

Jojo’s Bizarre Married Life 

Jojo’s bizarre married life- a gay fan fiction abomination produced by CLAMP where jotaro and kakyoin have children. It is the most god-aweful shitpost-worthy piece of media possibly ever created. It is the origin of the meme “kakyoin, did you lay this egg?” You sort of get the point. And their kid, jouta kujo, has a stand named after dish soap. And kakyoin poisons Dio with his horrible cooking. IT WAS ALSO ANIMATED BY STUDIO MADHOUSE. I wish I was kidding, somebody help

Person 1: have you read Jojo’s Bizarre Married Life ?
Person 2: don’t you ever fucking mention that fucking manga ever

Jojo’s Bizarre Married Life by GenosCyborg July 24, 2023

What's it like being MARRIED to Dana White 

OK... Now take your hand 🖐 And now slam it into your face 🤦 ♂️ That

Hym "What's it like being MARRIED to Dana White? 🖐🤦 ♂️😭 in 3 emojis."

What's it like being MARRIED to Dana White by Hym Iam January 14, 2025

Married single mother 

A married woman who does all the childrearing, chores, providing for the family while her husband does not raise a finger to help. A term coined by youtuber Cynthia G

“She does all the house chores, takes care of the children, cooking while working a full time job. Her husband doesn’t help. She’s a married single mother.”

Married single mother by LadyDivest May 1, 2023

married sex 

The redundant sex that results after several years of marriage. It is not necessarily bad, just boring. You know she likes "this" and she knows you like "that" so all you do is "this and that". There tends to be no deviation from the set pattern after several years and all foreplay disappears. Undress, lie down, hump (only 1-2 positions allowable), and done.

Me: "I wanted to 69 with the wife last night and get out the ropes but all I got was married sex."

Friend: "Bummer, man. That must have been boring!"

married sex by married man May 11, 2009

married sex 

generally performed first thing in the morning before work starts and anyone is awake. sneak out to kitchen, turn lights on, start kettle boiling so as to make noise to act as the alibi proving you are in the kitchen, sneak very softly to the toilet an crank the shit outta yourself, sneak back out to kitchen then walk loudly back to toilet and piss loudly to give you a legitimate reason to be flushing toilet.

(alarm goes of) *beep beep beep*
(think to yourself) "hmmm....another piss fat. time for married sex"

married sex by screaming axe wound February 6, 2010

PMS ( Presently Married Syndrome )

1. the anxiety felt in a marriage
2. feeling trapped
3. feeling suffocated
4. constantly suspicious of your spouse's behavior, with or without merit
5. obsessive compulsion to check pockets, drawers, looking for clues ( imaginary or not ) to validate one's suspicions
6. general bossiness

7. general disregard for the happiness of your partner

Geeez Frank it sounds like you and your wife both suffer from PMS ( Presently Married Syndrome )...no, not that one, I'm talking about ' presently married syndrome '

PMS ( Presently Married Syndrome ) by Egaladeist-TAZ March 13, 2010