kindergarten cop

A film directed by Ivan Reitman. Released in 1990.

Arnold Schwarzenegger stars as detective John Kimble, a man who has been chasing a drug dealer named Cullen Crisp. When he finally tracks Crisp down, he learns that the only way he can put Crisp away is by having his ex-wife testify against him. Kimble finds out the name of the school Crisp's son attends. He is then assigned a new partner, Phoebe O'Hara, who is going to go undercover as a kindergarten teacher, and the two travel to Astoria, Oregon. Unfortunately for Kimble, O'Hara becomes ill, and the only person who can take her place is him.

Awesome "Kindergarten Cop" quotes:

"WELL I'VE GOT NEWS FOR YOU, YOU ARE MINE NOW, YOU BELONG TO ME!"

"I'm Detective John Kimble. I'm a cop, you idiot!"

"IT'S NOT A TOOMAH!"

"Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina."

"My dad is a gynecologist. He looks at vaginas all day."

"Who is your daddy, and what does he do?"

"Stop whining! You kids are soft. You lack discipline."

Ah-nuld (to little kid): Are these all your lunches?
(Boy shakes his head no)
Ah-nuld: You mean you eat other people's lunches?
(Boy nods his head yes)
Ah-nuld (yells): STOP IT!

kindergarten cop by SuperSonicX September 4, 2006

Get merch

Get the kindergarten cop mug.

See more merch

Hate Sink

A person you hate intensely not because they deserve such hatred but because they serve as a focus for your general hatred. A healthy way to dispense with excess animosity.

Jake's not really that big an asshole. He just serves as my hate sink.

Hate Sink by The great prophet Zarquon August 7, 2016

Word of the Day on July 26, 2026

Get merch

funiosity

The art of being peculiar, but in an amusing fashion.

"Wow, look at that dog running on three legs"
- "Yeah, that sure is a funiosity"

funiosity by Supersonic Stevie November 23, 2007

Word of the Day on July 25, 2026

Get merch

Toe Rag

A toe rag was originally a foot wrapping used, since mediaeval times up until the mid-nineteenth century, to protect the foot from chafing by boots or shoes. As these were, quite literally, rags they weren’t usually washed, and so with use they became very smelly until they were thrown away. Because of the similarity in smell, toe rag also became the name applied to dried, salted cod or other things with a strong, unpleasant, fishy smell. It didn’t take that long before the name was applied to someone who was an obnoxious, unpleasant OIC.

1 “Socks! Those aren’t socks you smelly git, they’re toe rags!”
2 “What have you been cooking? Smells like toe rag!”
3 “I can smell ‘er fanny from ‘ere, proper toe rag.”
4 That Heale Malcolm is a right toe rag.

Toe Rag by AKACroatalin November 29, 2016

Word of the Day on July 24, 2026

Get merch

Eternity leave

When some resigns or retires from a job, they are on "eternity leave". This can also refer to someone who has passed away, especially someone who worked somewhere for a long time, retired/resigned, then passed away later.

Oh I'm sorry, you didn't know that Kelly is on eternity leave? She resigned and moved to Hawaii!

With regrets I would like to inform you that my boss is officially on eternity leave. I will never see or hear them again. Ever.

Eternity leave by LingDanc803 February 7, 2023

Word of the Day on July 23, 2026

Get merch

jody

The hypothetical man (often a sinister character who decided not to go to boot camp) that is doing your girlfriend/wife while you are on deployment overseas.

Ain't no use in goin home,
Jody's got your girl and gone.
Ain't no use in goin back,
Jody's got your Cadillac,
Ain't no use in feeling blue,
Jody's took your checkbook too.

jody by Sgt Apan March 31, 2006

Word of the Day on July 22, 2026

Get merch

girl grip

The ability girls and women have developed to hold several items at once in one hand. The skill has been developed due to the lack of pockets in women's clothing.

I thought she'd need multiple trips to carry her phone, keys, wallet, and Starbucks to her car since she needed the other hand to open the door, but she used her impressive girl grip to carry everything in one hand.

girl grip by SillyMilly33 July 31, 2023

Word of the Day on July 21, 2026

Get merch