Dull-as-dishwater Aussie actress with massively overrated looks, no emotional range, and a conspicuous lack of charisma. Despite these shortcomings and a string of abysmal films (see Bewitched, Moulin Rouge), the Australian public have
long been infatuated with her.
Kidman's track record with regards to
marriage is almost as appalling as her filmography. Seemingly incapable of learning from her
Tom Cruise experience, she has hooked up with yet another closet homo in the form of ear-torturing country singer Keith Urban.
WELCOME TO PERFECT MATCH STARRING NICOLE KIDMAN!!
HOST: Nicole, you
may now choose between:
Contestant A: A
homosexual scientologist nutcase midget.
OR
Contestant B: An alcoholic
homosexual country-western singing midget.