Writer, humanist, author, owner of The Church of Fat on Xanga. Minor internet celebrity. Pervy terror lord.
by Random Church of Fatter July 24, 2006
An obsessive elderly man who, while seemingly friendly at first, will become obsessive and clingy once you become friends. Will call you daily multiple times until you answer the phone, and will make excuses to come to your house, such as claiming he forgot something or left something or claiming he wants to give you something. Will then not take a hint and overstay his welcome. If he can't mangle his way into your house, he will stop by uninvited, and knowing you won't want to be disrespectful and tell him to leave, will further overstay his welcome. If you do not pick up the phone, he will come to your house, thus forcing you to answer the phone. Will drive by your house numerous times in a stalking nature. Will insist on going everywhere with you, no matter the place, and will refuse to wash his hands after he uses the restroom. Don't get yourself a JR. (John R.)
Elizabeth: I just met this guy that's super friendly and is willing to help me with literally anything I need. He's great!
Cassandra: That's amazing, I'm glad you found a guy that's nice to you. Tell me more about him, what's his name?
Elizabeth: Thanks, his name is John.
Cassandra: John, John R.?
Elizabeth: Yes!
Cassandra: You've got yourself a John R. Have fun getting rid of him.
Elizabeth: What do you mean by that?
Cassandra: You'll see, just wait for the nonstop calling and obsessive, clingy behavior.
Cassandra: That's amazing, I'm glad you found a guy that's nice to you. Tell me more about him, what's his name?
Elizabeth: Thanks, his name is John.
Cassandra: John, John R.?
Elizabeth: Yes!
Cassandra: You've got yourself a John R. Have fun getting rid of him.
Elizabeth: What do you mean by that?
Cassandra: You'll see, just wait for the nonstop calling and obsessive, clingy behavior.
by imtellingnothingbutthetruth February 13, 2023