Jesus Fist

the name of the order of neo-fascist christian theocracy based on dominionism that will certainly arise in america after a few more terrorist attacks.

a modern christian military theocracy

better get saved and get with Jesus Fist - or you'll be declared an unsaved blaspheme and put down like a rabid dog.

we can't go out after 8pm - Jesus Fist curfew is in effect.

the last I saw him he was wearing a turbin - then the Jesus Fist came and took him away.

by Ruiner Severhead December 31, 2007

Jesus Fist-Fucking Christ

What comes out of your mouth after viewing an act so unbelievable that only one phrase of awe will do.

Sarah: Hey look! It's a tranny felching a midget!
Michael: Jesus Fist-Fucking Christ!

by thinknic November 1, 2008

Jesus Blistering Fist Fuck

1. Expression used when experiencing something incomprehensibly awesome or utterly disgusting.
2. Insinuating extreme bodily harm.
3. Used randomly when having nothing else to say.

1
John : OMG! I just won 50 kilos of cocaine ...
John : ... and beat your brother to a pulp with a hockey stick.
Bob : jesus blistering fist fuck!

2
John : Say, have you ever had a Jesus, Blistering, Fist Fuck?

3
John : This track is awesome!
Bob : Yeah, jesus blistering fist fuck it's cool!

by prosci8 September 7, 2009

Double fist me the Jesus

Coffee. And lots of it. Originally used because someone was having two iced coffees

Im having a stressful day. Double fist me the Jesus!

by PKlady March 24, 2023

Jesus Fisting

Fisting somebody with a Jesus Fist while screaming "Jesus take the wheel"

I love Jesus Fisting

by Rexoto July 10, 2014

Jesusist

A person who worships Jesus Christ and follows His teachings, but who has renounced the religion built around Him as disparate and hypocritical.

A Christian bases their paradoxical belief system on a Bible that contradicts itself, while a Jesusist's belief system is based solely on the words and deeds of the New Testament Christ.

by Vantonia January 9, 2017

Jesusist

Someone who follows the teaching of Jesus, not Christ.

I" do not following the teaching of Christ, therefore I am a Jesusist."

by jewcyjewce November 30, 2011