Jake's Law 

The bigger the house, the hotter the girl(s).

We should totally hit that house up tomorrow, don't forget: Jake's Law.

Jake's Law by Jfkwozog September 3, 2013

Jake Piper's first law 

The mighty honourable Jake Piper has 4 laws, and his first is simple.

Forget the minus.

Fred: "Ah man I was doing this question and I got -17 seconds, what do I do?"
Tim: "Use Jake Piper's first law, you'll be fine"

Jake Piper's first law by unitybacon October 13, 2020

Jake Piper's second law 

Jake Piper's second law requires a bit of thinking.

Infinitely accurate time.

So time could be e^3 days, etc.

Perry: "Yo, what's the time right now?"
James: "Oh, five Pi seconds past 12."
Perry: "Wait, that's way too accurate, right?"
James: "Come on man, use Jake Piper's second law"

Jake Piper's second law by unitybacon October 13, 2020

Jake Piper's third law 

Jake Piper's third law is extremely simple.

Just remember it.

Ian: "Damn man, I just cannot think of the capital of Mexico right now."
Rasheed: "Use Jake Piper's third law."

Jake Piper's third law by unitybacon October 13, 2020

Jake Piper's fourth law 

The last of his laws, it states:
There can only be three laws.

The law is a certified law.

Connor: "Hey man, I used Jake Piper's fifth law here and-"
Daniel: "Come on man, use Jake Piper's fourth law. There's no fifth law"

Jake Piper's fourth law by unitybacon October 13, 2020