Jake Piper's first law

The mighty honourable Jake Piper has 4 laws, and his first is simple.

Forget the minus.

Fred: "Ah man I was doing this question and I got -17 seconds, what do I do?"
Tim: "Use Jake Piper's first law, you'll be fine"

by unitybacon October 13, 2020

Jake Piper's fourth law

The last of his laws, it states:
There can only be three laws.

The law is a certified law.

Connor: "Hey man, I used Jake Piper's fifth law here and-"
Daniel: "Come on man, use Jake Piper's fourth law. There's no fifth law"

by unitybacon October 13, 2020

Jake Piper's third law

Jake Piper's third law is extremely simple.

Just remember it.

Ian: "Damn man, I just cannot think of the capital of Mexico right now."
Rasheed: "Use Jake Piper's third law."

by unitybacon October 13, 2020

Jake Piper's second law

Jake Piper's second law requires a bit of thinking.

Infinitely accurate time.

So time could be e^3 days, etc.

Perry: "Yo, what's the time right now?"
James: "Oh, five Pi seconds past 12."
Perry: "Wait, that's way too accurate, right?"
James: "Come on man, use Jake Piper's second law"

by unitybacon October 13, 2020