1. An unfathomable moron The word JackMonkey was origonally a derivative of "jack off" that was created in a moment of absolute frustration. The defining factor of a JackMonkey is their inability to grasp even the simplest concepts that are new to them.
I tried to teach that JackMonkey to tie his shoes but all he managed to do was get his fingers stuck in knots.
An absolutely foolproof way to keep minors from viewing content deemed "too mature" for them to watch.
Billy: "So I was trying to watch some videos for an M rated game, and I ran into an age gate, so I put in my real birthday. SOMEHOW it managed to figure out that I am 12. CURSE YOU AGE GATE!!!"
Bill: "Fucking age gate! *quick scroll* THERE! I was born on January 1, 1904. Fuck you age gate."