Hamilton Handshake

The act of reaching into a self-contained toilet paper dispenser and instead of retrieving a bundle of TP, you unknowingly smear your hand with fecal matter left from the previous occupant of the stall that you are currently using. Known to occur regularly to both men and women, but an inordinant percentage of the recipients are from or near the city of Hamilton,OH. The same act is performed in various cities across the US under different names, such as: Cincinnati Silly Putty, Kansas City Knuckle Duster, Pittsburgh Pudding, and Albany Applesauce.

Tom: Hey, Mary, what's wrong?

Mary: Ewww! I was in the shitter and when I went to wipe I got a handful of poo!! Eww....gross!! I got the Hamilton Handshake! It was packed in there like ceiling spackle!

Tom: Yeah that's gross. Lemme have a dollar. Wait, you can keep that dollar!

**watches as poo stained dollar floats to the floor**

Hamilton Handshake by Senor Musk March 29, 2007

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Hamilton Handshake

Breaking a bottle (usually in a bar fight) and stabbing somebody with the jagged ends.

Named after the crappy, industrial city in Ontario.

I went to the bar for a beer but instead, I ended up getting a Hamilton Handshake.

Hamilton Handshake by zippypete April 21, 2009

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Serial Monogamist

Someone who jumps from one relationship immediately into another one.

Serial monogamists can not stand to be alone and often suffer from vast commitment and insecurity issues.

Because they jump into relationships immediately after the previous one has ended, serial monogamists typically don't take the time to reflect on their behavior or why their previous relationships failed; thus, they end up making the same relationship mistakes over and over again.

Person 1: Damn, Dustin already has a new girlfriend?! It's only been two weeks since he broke up with his fiance! I think he's a sociopath.

Person 2: No, he's a serial monogamist...

Serial Monogamist by Goody2Shuze March 6, 2016

Word of the Day on June 22, 2026

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liquid lunch

A lunchbreak comprised entirely of alcoholic beverages, and no food.

"With all the lay-offs that morning, it was rough. I hit the bar around the corner for a liquid lunch mid-day."

liquid lunch by Alexandra July 27, 2004

Word of the Day on June 21, 2026

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dunzo

Dunzo, a slang word for done/finshed. Made famous by the Laguna Beach cast.

This car is so dunzo. (Kristin's car breaks down.)

dunzo by Joey Pellet December 8, 2004

Word of the Day on June 20, 2026

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ankle biter

Someone or something that bites your ankles.
To a postman, an ankle biter is often known as a dog.
To an adult, an ankle biter may be a toddler.
To hikers, an ankle biter is sometimes a tick.
And so on.

"Dang ankle biter took off my whole leg!!"

ankle biter by the sane maniac February 2, 2004

Word of the Day on June 19, 2026

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Male Pattern Blindness

When a man will search for hours to find something that is laying out in the open on a table. Items are often easily found by a women.

Man: "I have been searching for hours for keys."
Woman: "You mean the ones sitting there on the coffee table?"
Man: "Where?"
Woman: "Right there in the middle of that table."
Man: "oh, must have been Male Pattern Blindness"

Male Pattern Blindness by diablo581 February 10, 2008

Word of the Day on June 18, 2026

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