Hamilton Handshake 

The act of reaching into a self-contained toilet paper dispenser and instead of retrieving a bundle of TP, you unknowingly smear your hand with fecal matter left from the previous occupant of the stall that you are currently using. Known to occur regularly to both men and women, but an inordinant percentage of the recipients are from or near the city of Hamilton,OH. The same act is performed in various cities across the US under different names, such as: Cincinnati Silly Putty, Kansas City Knuckle Duster, Pittsburgh Pudding, and Albany Applesauce.

Tom: Hey, Mary, what's wrong?

Mary: Ewww! I was in the shitter and when I went to wipe I got a handful of poo!! Eww....gross!! I got the Hamilton Handshake! It was packed in there like ceiling spackle!

Tom: Yeah that's gross. Lemme have a dollar. Wait, you can keep that dollar!

**watches as poo stained dollar floats to the floor**

Hamilton Handshake by Senor Musk March 29, 2007

Hamilton Handshake 

Breaking a bottle (usually in a bar fight) and stabbing somebody with the jagged ends.

Named after the crappy, industrial city in Ontario.

I went to the bar for a beer but instead, I ended up getting a Hamilton Handshake.

Hamilton Handshake by zippypete April 21, 2009