Gasturbation 

The act of shaking the gas pump to get those last few precious drops of gas out of the hose that you paid for and you deserve.

Man, that guys a cheap bastard, he's been shaking that thing for damn near a minute now, that's some serious gasturbation

Gasturbation by TheFitz19 June 25, 2009

gasturbation 

(n.) the act of shoving one's penis into one's anus and farting until orgasm

"Son, I think it's time we talk about gasturbation."

"Matthew?!?! How could have been gasturbating in PE today!??!"

gasturbation by Tom Diputs January 2, 2008

gasturbation 

Synonemous with queef,but done while the female is pleasuring herself.

George:*listening at a door* Woah! it sounds like liz is in the middle of gasturbation!
Tony: Tote's Mgotes man!

gasturbation by mcfidlstyz June 25, 2010

Comedic Masturbation 

When you are so funny by yourself that you laugh out loud without any participation by a partner.

Progresses from a small grin to a smile to a quiet giggle and then quickly reaches the climactic event of an audible belly laugh, or LOL. Following climax, tissue is often used to dry resulting wetness occuring in the ocular region.

My humor is not always understood by others and I frequently find myself involuntarily engaging in comedic masturbation.

Comedic Masturbation by K-Rista-Raaah July 22, 2016

Pasturbation 

Obsessively romanticizing the past.

Mad Men is great TV, if you're into pasturbation.

Pasturbation by fraying August 31, 2010

Bureaucratic Masturbation 

noun - 1. Engaging in any activity for the sake of making one feel better about themselves, their organization, or their company without actually accomplishing anything. 2. Holding meetings to provide recommendations only to have management do what they wanted in the first place. 3. Holding special work group meetings to make the 'little people' feel ownership, when the decision has already been made by higher levels of management.

My boss has picked me to suffer through more Bureaucratic Masturbation, representing the department on a policy work group.
I spent the last 3 months researching the best candidate for the position and the Boss picked his pet employee anyway. God I hat Bureaucratic Masturbation!

Bureaucratic Masturbation by Bill Koogler January 17, 2008

Masturbation guilt 

The sense of guilt you feel post-masturbation when you realized what you have just jerked yourself off to.

"Oh God, what have I done? I did not just masturbate to bestiality.. talk about masturbation guilt.

Masturbation guilt by GunaDK January 19, 2012