Functional Retard

A person who is obviously weird, strange, and does retard-like things, but is a fully functional human being, or whatever species they are. Usually they are assholes, but they're usually enjoyable and funny.

Example 1)

*Gonzo screams "Dick Waterfall" in the middle of an instructional period*

Jessica: What is wrong with that man

Amber: I don't know, but he must be a pretty functional kind of retard.

Example 2)

*Actual disabled child walks by*

Jessica: He's probably not a very functional retard

Amber: Dude, that's my brother.

Functional Retard by ThatFuckWad December 4, 2014

Functional Retard

fuhngk-shuh-nl ri-tahrd

1. Psychology. a person of the operational order in a former classification of mental retardation, having a mental age of less than three years old and an intelligence quotient under 25 yet still mantains the ability to convince society of their relevance, and ability to be trusted to act intelligently.

2. A charismatic individual which demonstrates inconsistent reasoning abilities and has an inherent disreguard towards their sociological perspective.

3. One who assumes "any publicity is good publicity."

Dixie: Can you believe that idiot?!? Does he have any idea how offensivly stupid he is?!?

Dewey: I can believe it because he is a Functional Retard.

Functional Retard by Mr. Nova<3 April 3, 2011

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functionally-retarded

Adjective describing a person(s) who has just enough brain cells to survive; devoid of common sense and mental aptitude.

Dave is such a tool. I bet he can't even wipe his own ass. He's functionally-retarded.

People suck. Most of the general public is functionally-retarded.

functionally-retarded by Brett319 June 17, 2008

functionally retarded

Mental deficiency characterized by stumbling speech, disconnection with reality, and unrestrained ego, yet behavior which is accepted by at most 50% of the population.

George W. Bush is functionally retarded.

functionally retarded by John Manyjars June 20, 2008

Stealthie

when you're holding up your phone and making faces at it, as though you are taking a selfie, but you're really taking a picture of the person across from you or the wall or anything else that seems interesting but you don't want to be caught dead taking a picture of.

This action is often made more convincing by wiggling the eyebrows or opening the mouth, to pretend you're trying to get a Snapchat filter to work.

FRIEND A: "Did you just take a stealthie of me?"

FRIEND B (turning phone around): "no I was just using snapchat's new filter, see?"

Stealthie by gwenhyfar October 2, 2016

Word of the Day on May 25, 2026

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Summer Teeth

When someone has a lot of missing teeth.

Mannn, that dude has summer teeth!
What do you mean?
Summer here, summer there...

Summer Teeth by BeckPot August 2, 2012

Word of the Day on May 24, 2026

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Grindset

The grindset is a contemporary ideology of self-exploitation disguised as strength, deeply tied to the aesthetics of the “sigma male” and to new digital forms of patriarchy. It promotes the idea that human worth depends on productivity, economic success, absolute emotional control, and the ability to work endlessly, turning vulnerability, rest, community, and tenderness into signs of weakness. Beneath its rhetoric of discipline and power often lies a profound inability to relate healthily to pain, fragility, and human interdependence.

“That’s the grindset, brother. While weak men sleep and complain, sigma males stay disciplined, work in silence, suppress emotions, and build power while everyone else wastes time chasing comfort.”

Grindset by Omega-Male May 22, 2026

Word of the Day on May 23, 2026

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