Forever Alone Satisfier 

A hand towel (20”x40”) is folded in half lengthwise (to become 10”x40”) and placed on a flat surface. A latex glove is then placed on the towel, perpendicular to the long end, slightly extending ~1” past the end. The towel is then rolled up completely around the glove. The extending 1” of the glove is then peeled back around the rolled up towel and secured with elastics to secure in place. Lube is then added to the interior of the glove and then spend 10 minutes deciding which porn flick to yank off too.

What’s this thing beside your bed?

Mom, that’s my Forever Alone Satisfier.

…your what?

Just look it up on Urban Dictionary and then leave please. Ima use it

Forever Alone Satisfier by TheAlwaysCorrect1 December 18, 2021