"We are the
church of Firnando, here is our tale. We formed when our High Priest happened upon our God, our Holy Lord Split in Twain, the Cleaved
One, the pinnacle of rubber duck physique, FIRNANDO. We began our journey when we were deceived by the infamous Betrayer. Since then we have evolved towards our goal of world acceptance. We act in Firnando's name to create a world of acceptance"- Presumed
DJ Liam, council member
The
Church of Firnando is the only Firnandowist worshipping center in the world, as of November
2020. Firnandowists praise the lord Firnando the cleaved
one, a rubber duck split in twain who arose from the depths of a sacred claw machine. Their holy book, The Firnandonomicon, consists of eleven commandments, tales of Lord Firnando, and a number of psalms (composed by "Presumed DJ Liam"). You can read more about The
Church of Firnando on their wix-cite that goes by the same name.
High Preist: "Ever been dead inside? join the
Church of Firnando, and either become happy or die a human
sacrifice! either
way, you won't be sad anymore!"