Felons Tree Removal 

An arborist company that hires felons to come to your house and trim your bushes. They charge extra to cut trees but will trim your bush for free.

Becky "I was going to hire Felons Tree Removal to trim the trees at my house. You think they're any good?"
Lateesha "Bitch, I don need no felons trimin' my bush!"

Felons Tree Removal by SuperWordNerd July 10, 2025

Felon's Tree Removal 

A colloquial term for an arborist from upstate NY or other back woods place who employs felons, particularly, registered sex offenders.

He first verifies that they are indeed registered sex offenders - or at a minimum convicted felon - and then he gives them unsupervised access to chainsaws and wood chippers. Sometimes accidents happen and there end up fewer felons than they started with, so it's not all bad.

Other times - well, felons with chainsaw... The possibilities are endless, and some aren't so great.

Bro "Brah, where can I get a job? I just I'm on parole, so nobody's gonna hire me."
Brah "Bro, go work for Felon's Tree Removal. They'll hire ya. They literally only hire felons."
Bro "Nah, Bra, they won't let me do anything. I'm a felon."
Bra "The hell they won't! You'll get your own chainsaw, wood chipper, shit, you'll probably get your own shotgun to protect you from choopacobras and parole officers."

Felon's Tree Removal by Double take July 10, 2025

Felon's Tree Removal 

A tree trimming service from Chazy NY who hires felons - preferably registered sex offenders - to trim your bushes and peep in your windows.

Felon's Tree Removal does a great job as long as you don't mind rapists and murders peeping in your windows and casing the joint.

Felon's Tree Removal by Read it! July 14, 2025