An arborist in upstate NY who employes felons.
Felon: "hey Carl, you hiring?"
Carl: "Yeah Dude, can you run a chainsaw?"
Felon: "fuck yeah dude! I got tons of experience in that! I chainsawed my girlfriend into pieces. That's how I got my first felony!"
Carl: "Right on. When can you start?"
Felon: "Right after I get that body out of my trunk... Can I run the wood chipper too?"
Carl: "Of course. You at clearly qualified and trustworthy. Welcome to Fellon's Tree Removal."
Carl: "Yeah Dude, can you run a chainsaw?"
Felon: "fuck yeah dude! I got tons of experience in that! I chainsawed my girlfriend into pieces. That's how I got my first felony!"
Carl: "Right on. When can you start?"
Felon: "Right after I get that body out of my trunk... Can I run the wood chipper too?"
Carl: "Of course. You at clearly qualified and trustworthy. Welcome to Fellon's Tree Removal."
by Double take July 10, 2025
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